(Day 18) the lies.

(I wrote this a week ago, but it never felt right to post. Until today)

I have been thinking a lot about this post. I write it in my head while I clean, or have a particularly bad or hard day when I feel like a failure. Which I will admit, happens. I will write it today while my kids are {finally} both asleep even though I should be napping, cleaning the house or making dinner. But I have to get this out. I need to write this for myself, to convince myself of something. This is part 1 of a couple blogs on the same subject I want to write. But I need to start now. Because I have a bad habit and it will kill me if I am not careful. 

***

comparison. 

while I sit in a messy house

the kids and I are still in our PJs

I haven't eaten breakfast

or taken a shower

and it's 11:00am

all I can think about is

All the other mothers I know
with their constantly clean house

kids with their perfect, clean clothes

Enjoying a healthy meal

While she sits at the table in a beautiful outfit

 Wearing pearls

And it's 8:30am.

And then I feel like a failure. My home with overflowing dirty laundry and dirty dishes, even though I try with everything I have to keep it clean and organized. I spend almost every spare second doing that, but to no avail. My 2 kids under 2 take all my time. I have an excuse, right? But yet I can't cut myself slack. Whenever things don't go perfectly, I think about everyone else and how things must always go perfect. Because that is what I see. 

But in reality?

I am sure that things don't always go perfectly. I am sure they sit in their jammies, with their house a mess and their kids running around in a diaper just as often. We are so hard on ourselves. We assume perfection in everyone else and cast so much judgement on ourselves. Truth is, no one is perfect. No one's life is how we  imagine. We need to get past the lies that we tell ourselves.

That we aren't good enough

That we aren't perfect enough

That we aren't strong enough

That we aren't special enough.

Life isn't about "perfection". It is about living and enjoying our life. How can we truly enjoy our life and live if we are constantly comparing ourselves to others and lying to ourselves? I am a firm believer in a quote that I read the other day. "Comparison is the thief of joy". Truer words have never been spoken. If we compare ourselves, we feel less about ourselves and then we will not feel true joy. 

Everyone has hard days

Everyone isn't perfect

Everyone is allowed to have hard days

Everyone has low moments

but

that is not failure. That is life.

So my bad habit? The stress of not being "perfect". Of not having a "perfect" house 24/7. Of not having "perfect" meals every night at 5pm. Of not having "perfect" clothes. Of not having a "perfect" life. I am done. I am done expecting perfection out of myself all the time. I am done not giving myself breaks. I am my worst critic and I am done.

Hi. My name is McKenna and I am done comparing myself to women that don't exist. 

I am done living under the shadow of a lie.

I am done allowing this lie to dictate my life and steal my joy because I compare my life to it.

My life is perfect, mess and all,

 and I love it.


Part of the day my house looks like this:

Richard came home for a quick dinner break while I was folding laundry

And part of the day my house looks like this:

3 hours later after my nightly cleaning (not that it took that long to clean haha) before the kids bedtime. Richard had just gotten back from school. we were happy.

And thats ok.

Because this is what really matters:

Happy, healthy, loving family.

Not a perfectly clean house 24/7.


Do any of you feel the same way? What helps you "snap" out of it when you start comparing yourself to others?

p.s. these pictures are from yesterday (1/18), so I am a day behind, but I decided to post it today so I was current. I will post pictures from today and tomorrow on tomorrows post to even it out.