Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

So the date is set.

As I sat on the doctors table at 39 weeks, doctor said she didn't want me going past my due date because of Liams size (9 1/2 pounds on his due date) AND because I went so fast with Brielle (I went from 5cm to totally complete/crowning in 30 minutes and the hospital is a good 45 minutes away). Not that I expect either to happen again, but you just never know. Better to be prepared. Anyways, she left to call the hospital to pick a date for the week before my due date. "Wow, THE date" was all I could think of. In the hallway I heard her voice:

"O gosh. The only day they have available is Wednesday. I feel bad doing that to her"

At first I thought ummmm, what are you going to do to me?!?! And then I glanced at the calender on the wall. Wednesday the 27th. 2 days early. O that is my birthday. ::giggle:: that is ironic. As she explained the only day I could could come in that week for a scheduled induction was that day, all I could do was smile. The plan is for me to come in in the morning, the doc will break my water and we will sit back and watch. Considering the fact that with my babies once my water breaks labor goes fast, she thinks that is all it will take. 

Anyways, it's pretty odd to have the date set.

Especially considering what the date is.

So as is my personality, planning instantly started and things started rolling. 

We decided to celebrate Easter today and my birthday yesterday. 

And both were fantastic.

My birthday consisted of my favorite breakfast (crepes covered in whipped cream, nutella and fresh strawberries with a side of bacon), a long nap, playing with the family at the park (it was a GORGEOUS day), shopping for my presents, eating Chinese food for dinner, pie for dessert (not a fan of cake) and watching a movie (all the while having painful contractions of course). Easter was equally fun with a wonderful day at church, epic Easter egg hunt, a big ham dinner and chocolate.

In their easter best ready for church

and the easter egg hunt begun

Liam totally got it filling his bucket with pretty much all the eggs.
Brielle found (maybe) 3 and just sat down to open them all

all the loot...and a boot.

My birthday flowers

Final preparations can now be made.

(less than) 3 days left.

And it's at this point that Jack Johnson's lyrics start running through my head

"Now I was sitting, waiting, wishing"

But in my cause it will be "Now I was walking, cleaning, wishing"

At least the waiting and wishing for her to be in my arms, 

has an expiration date.

My 2 cents as mamasita

Parenting.
I know, I am a novice.
I only have 2 kids, 2 little kids, so I don't really know what I am talking about.

But in my defense, before I had kids I finished my bachelors degree in Psychology and Marriage & Family Studies, took dozens of classes on parenting and read an equal amount of articles/books on parenting. 

I know, books don't equate experience.
But they sure help!

Anyways, with that disclaimer, I have been thinking lately about my main job: parenting

Somedays I feel like a failure, somedays I actually think it's going pretty good. 

I don't always know what I am doing, but who does?

You might think you always know what you are doing, but children are ever changing, their personalities fluid and so usually what seems to happen is the one thing that worked for awhile all of a sudden doesn't because of their ever changing, growing self. But thats life right? Once you get one thing figured out, it changes. But that is how we grow. 

Hopefully you as a parent realize this, and adapt to their fluid personalities. 

Cause that is also important.

 Anyways, in my 3 short years of parenting babies & toddlers I have learned some things that seem to  consistently work. I thought I would share them, just for kicks.

 I need something other than evicting having this baby to think about...so entertain me...

1. I have debated on punishments. I know that they are important, because they teach our children boundaries and what is and isn't ok. But I think something else can work better (in certain situations), if done right. Praise. I remember reading somewhere (I am in no mind to find it, so you will just have to trust me) that praising your children when they do the desired thing works much better than punishing them when they don't do the desired thing. It can be tedious and require creativity. You might have to stretch really hard to think of how you can see positive things they are doing. It also requires a lot of time and attention from you as the parent to watch for the little things that are right. But, I know from experience that works so well. Obviously, you still need to punish/give consequences. But praising for appropriate behavior not only teaches them what they should do, but builds up their own self-esteem and self-respect. 

2. The next thing goes a long with this. The way you see/treat them, is the way they will see/treat themselves. It is called the "self fulfilling prophecy". If you treat them like a bad kid, they will think they are a bad kid and act like a bad kid. If you treat them like a good kid, they will think they are a good kid and act like a good kid. As simple as that. So if you are praising them for doing the right thing and telling them how proud you are of them for making the right decision and telling them what a good kid they are (make sure to say specifically why you think this aka: find a specific action/reason), they will think they are a good kid. Kids mirror the way they feel about themselves after the way adults think/act towards them. Be careful.

3. Children need choices. If they feel like they don't have choices, or control over their lives, they will fight anything. Try not to tell them to do something, but give them 2 choices on how to accomplish it. That way they don't feel forced, but they feel like they choose to do it. Some could see this as manipulative, but it's better than not teaching them to make decisions for themselves!

4. When it is appropriate, children need consequences/punishments. There are just some things that are not ok. But the key with this, is consistency. Children only learn through consistency. They test boundaries to find out where they are, and so if you are consistent in consequences they will quickly learn where the boundaries are, feel secure in the boundary and (most likely) leave it a lone. So I would say that the most important thing with this, is consistency. If you told them not to do something, you must follow through with the punishment. Children need this.

5. Try not to have too many rules. This could potentially take from them an opportunity for them to learn something themselves. You want them to learn how to manage themselves. Plus if all they hear from you is "no don't do that" or "stop that" or "please dont do..." etc. they will tune you out. I try to remember that if it isn't putting themselves or others in harm, or could create a serious problem/mess, or a potential bad habit, let them learn. This doesn't mean to put them at risk or not teach them something that needs to be taught. I am not advocating neglectful parenting. Just make sure you aren't always squishing them with "no", "dont" and "stop it". Children learn by doing things and seeing the consequence, so if it isn't dangerous or problematic, let them learn. 

Anyways, just a couple of thoughts.

Don't sacrifice me on the "you-dont-know-what-you-are-talking-about" alter.

I am not saying I know it all,

just a couple of things I have learned in my time as mamasita.

Yes, he came with shoes. He kicked them off minutes before.

I think we are going to buy this adorable little playhouse for the kids for the new house.

They played in it for a good hour at Costco today and only stopped when we pulled them away (literally) because we had to leave.

So cute.

Ok now I am breaking out the ice cream, getting into bed, watching something quick, going to sleep early (gotta love 6:45 kidlet bedtimes) and not moving until I have to...

For the love of a hat

Starting around December of 2012, Brielle all of a sudden developed a new passion.

Hats.

She would run up to us and ask us to put anything from a dish towel to a shirt to a conventional hat on her head and if it fell off, she would scream until we put it back. And that has never ended. Her obsession with hats is pretty unreal, hilarious and the most darling thing ever. Wearing a hat, running around the house and "talking"  and usually in dress up clothes, is the most common way to find our little princess. If we are out at the store, she loves to wear a hat and even more so, loves to watch herself in the mirror wearing said hat. 

This one has a funny story.

Richard put her on his shoulders and she instantly took his hat off, and put it on her, like so.

She made everyone around her laugh hysterically. Including us.

And brother joining in on the fun

...see I wasn't kidding.

It is so fun to watch the personalities of your children develop and see how they are so unique, with their own little quirks. Her little personality has boomed in the last couple months, and she definitely has such a strong, fiery, hilarious, independent little spirit. I hope this obsession lasts for a long time, because it is so fun to see her little body running around the house with her pink cowboy hat or princess hat on. She is such a girl! And golly gee, I love that girl. 

Planting for tomorrow

This morning Richard scooped the kids out of their beds, let me sleep in and created with them.

They made "recipes", "goo" (corn starch + water) and built a fort where they went fishing and caught fish crackers.

all before 8:30 am.

I woke up, they were still in their pajamas, but their little hearts were full.

And Liam invited me into his fort where he was planting a garden (with our pellet fish food of course) which he said was full of vegetables, flowers and strawberries.

This game went on for about an hour.

(both the kids watching intently)

So when nap-time was over 

(heavy emphasis on TIME since neither napped...)

We bundled them up and headed out to get seeds to plant them a real garden.

And now we have a garden full of

vegetables, herbs and melons.

They both watched intently as Richard put the seeds in our seed-starter box

that is now sitting in it's special spot in front of the big windows on the piano.

And in between watching, 

Brielle ran around "singing" on the back porch playing with old cardboard boxes

Liam dug into the dirt, flinging it on everyone and everything

and I delighted in hearing the birds singing in the trees.

Spring has come.

The birds are singing, 

The green is getting more green,

The air doesn't bite,

and there are little seeds in dirt pockets beginning the process of emerging.

They say,

and I know that first thing tomorrow morning,

2 little kiddos are going to run in and check on their little seeds,

Believing that "tomorrow" brings what they planted.

I will love you forever. But...

Will you love me forever?

Will you love me forever, like I will love you forever?

Unconditionally and overwhelmingly?

I know you won't need me like you do now.

You won't need me to be there as soon as you wake up

and right before you go to bed.

I know you won't need me to dress you, bathe you and cook your food.

You will soon be able to meet people without having to have me right next to you, holding your hand.

You won't need me to kiss your owie's better, cuddle with you when you are sick or tired.

You won't want to tell me every single thing, all your stories and every small thing that you are excited about.

I know you won't always whisper " I really love you mom, with all my heart" throughout the day.

There might even be a time that I am not your best friend.

You won't cry at my legs when you are scared or hungry.

And at bedtime, you won't try to think of any reason to keep me there because you don't want me to leave.

You won't run to me wanting me to cuddle you when anything bad, scary or hurtful thing happens.

Exploring the world and experiencing everything together won't be your first priority.

I know you won't always play with my hair when you are tired.

I know that being around me won't always be magical and healing.

There will be a time that seeing me after I have been gone for a little while, won't be the absolute highlight of your day.

You won't always cry for me in the middle of the night if you are cold, scared or after a bad dream.

And you won't hug and kiss me out of nowhere.

I know that I won't always be the center of your universe.

I know, that one day, all of this will end.

You will become independent, and my role will change, shift and morph into something entirely different.

I know that is inevitable, and while it will break my heart for these things to cease, I know that is right. 

But, please, please, pretty please,

love me forever.

Because dear babies, I will love you forever and always.