The calm.

This is the calm.
The calm after and before the storm.
After the storm of under-graduate work. always worried about what our future was. Never seeing Richard. Far away from our family. Living in a tiny apartment. storm #1
Before the storm of learning to manage 3 kids in 3 years (It's going to be "interesting" to be outnumbered...). storm #2
And hubby starting medical school soon while trying to learn storm #2 and truly never being home. storm #3

(sorry I talk about those "storms" so often...honestly pretty freaked out. Excited for the challenge, but freaked)

But this time, is the calm.

The calm I have waited so long for and the one that I am basking in right now.

It is truly wonderful. And I feel so blessed to have this time with my family before the storm (s) come.

Our situation has allowed for almost constant help from time with Richard and it is heaven. Absolute heaven and sometimes I have to pinch myself because it doesn't seem real. The kids are loving it and I am loving it even more. Maybe ;) It is particularly wonderful for this almost 9 month pregnant body. more on that later...

Playing in the water on our 1 1/2 mile hike as a family on Presidents day

We have been living it up.

Weekly dates,

(finally) caught up on all of our favorite TV shows

getting to know my family on a whole new, wonderful level

staying up way too late talking after the kids are asleep (my all-time favorite part of the day)

 sleeping in whenever we can

 exercising everyday (well I DID)

 going on family outings pretty much everyday

eating every meal together 

and playing in anyway we can.

This is the calm 

I am grateful for everyday

and the time that will keep my sanity during the storms.

Planting for tomorrow

This morning Richard scooped the kids out of their beds, let me sleep in and created with them.

They made "recipes", "goo" (corn starch + water) and built a fort where they went fishing and caught fish crackers.

all before 8:30 am.

I woke up, they were still in their pajamas, but their little hearts were full.

And Liam invited me into his fort where he was planting a garden (with our pellet fish food of course) which he said was full of vegetables, flowers and strawberries.

This game went on for about an hour.

(both the kids watching intently)

So when nap-time was over 

(heavy emphasis on TIME since neither napped...)

We bundled them up and headed out to get seeds to plant them a real garden.

And now we have a garden full of

vegetables, herbs and melons.

They both watched intently as Richard put the seeds in our seed-starter box

that is now sitting in it's special spot in front of the big windows on the piano.

And in between watching, 

Brielle ran around "singing" on the back porch playing with old cardboard boxes

Liam dug into the dirt, flinging it on everyone and everything

and I delighted in hearing the birds singing in the trees.

Spring has come.

The birds are singing, 

The green is getting more green,

The air doesn't bite,

and there are little seeds in dirt pockets beginning the process of emerging.

They say,

and I know that first thing tomorrow morning,

2 little kiddos are going to run in and check on their little seeds,

Believing that "tomorrow" brings what they planted.

I will love you forever. But...

Will you love me forever?

Will you love me forever, like I will love you forever?

Unconditionally and overwhelmingly?

I know you won't need me like you do now.

You won't need me to be there as soon as you wake up

and right before you go to bed.

I know you won't need me to dress you, bathe you and cook your food.

You will soon be able to meet people without having to have me right next to you, holding your hand.

You won't need me to kiss your owie's better, cuddle with you when you are sick or tired.

You won't want to tell me every single thing, all your stories and every small thing that you are excited about.

I know you won't always whisper " I really love you mom, with all my heart" throughout the day.

There might even be a time that I am not your best friend.

You won't cry at my legs when you are scared or hungry.

And at bedtime, you won't try to think of any reason to keep me there because you don't want me to leave.

You won't run to me wanting me to cuddle you when anything bad, scary or hurtful thing happens.

Exploring the world and experiencing everything together won't be your first priority.

I know you won't always play with my hair when you are tired.

I know that being around me won't always be magical and healing.

There will be a time that seeing me after I have been gone for a little while, won't be the absolute highlight of your day.

You won't always cry for me in the middle of the night if you are cold, scared or after a bad dream.

And you won't hug and kiss me out of nowhere.

I know that I won't always be the center of your universe.

I know, that one day, all of this will end.

You will become independent, and my role will change, shift and morph into something entirely different.

I know that is inevitable, and while it will break my heart for these things to cease, I know that is right. 

But, please, please, pretty please,

love me forever.

Because dear babies, I will love you forever and always.

Tumblin boy

Today was Liam's first gymnastics class

and the entire time, he had the biggest smile 

He was in little boy heaven running, jumping, doing somersaults, hanging on the bar, walking on the balance beam, bouncing...everything. 

We basically had to drag him out of there 15 minutes after the class ended.

He had so much fun and was such a natural.

I know he is only 3, but really, he has a natural "knack" for gymnastics.

He went up to the bars and on his own started doing all these tricks without anyone showing him what to do

We were all pretty impressed! 

He had so much fun

and I know where we will be next Tuesday.

...yes, I am the mom that documents every moment of my childs life...

great. 

I have so much to blog about, and I am really behind. Soon I plan to sit down and get caught up, that is if I can find time. Life is pretty dang busy. Wonderful, but full of other good things.

The best 3 years

3 years ago, my life changed. 

In dramatic, wonderful, instantaneous ways.
3 years ago as I saw my precious boy for the first time when they placed him on my chest seconds after his birth, I was overcome with an eternal love that I cannot explain and something I could not have fathomed before he was born.
It was instant and all-consuming.
I didn't know him, but I loved him, more than I could imagine.

One of the most magic moments of my life.

See...I wasn't lying...look at his rolls! He had rolls EVERYWHERE.

So happy...all warm, full, feeling good with my baby sleeping next to me. 

The most proud, happy daddy in the world

Now 3 years later, I know him.

In only that short of a time, I know him so well. I know what his answers will be and how he will react in situations. I know the way he will feel and can accurately "guess" what he will say. 

I know him better than anyone else on this earth, and I love him more than anyone on this earth (of course, except his wonderful daddy). He is my best buddy, my little love who, with his 2 sisters and daddy, make my life complete.

He brings so much joy into my life and so much love, that I don't know what I did without him. For example, over and over again today he has cuddled with me, stroking my face and saying "I really love you mommy, with all of my heart" and "you are my best mommy in the whole world" and "I love you forever mommy". Really, I have been so blessed to be able to be his mommy. When I look into those big, excited, beautiful blue eyes, my heart melts and I can feel the amazing caliber of his spirit. Motherhood, really is the most amazing part of this earthly life. And being mommy to my littles, makes my life so full.

Love his goofy, in-the-middle-of-laughing smile!

 The past three years being Liams mama, have been wonderful. More than I can say.

He is my little best friend and I can't wait to watch him grow from his little boy self into a man.

 ... we are really celebrating tomorrow because my whole family was super busy today and then having his "friend" birthday on Tuesday so I will post pictures of present opening, cake eating and all the festivities after the two parties! Tomorrow is going to be packed full of all day Liam fun and I can't wait to see how excited he is :)

But even still, we celebrated with our little family by doing some of his favorite things. Day 1 of 3 celebrating this little man.

He loved it :)

(gosh, he is handsome)

Just today.

I should be in bed. I know it's crazy to be up this late when the kids are sleeping, especially considering the fact I am so tired and this huge pregnant body is hurting. But I didn't want to let todays little victories be forgotten. 

Today was a normal day. Nothing special. 

...Was woken up by a big hug and cuddle session with Liam.

...Richard let me go back to sleep and sleep in, like he does most mornings. (yes, I am a very spoiled girl)

...Exercised, while being interrupted by the kids (what felt like) every 10 minutes. 

...Bathed them with minimal battles. Dressed and Liam actually let me brush his hair.

...Got ready for the day (even straightened my hair AND did my make-up).

...Deep cleaned our entire room (thats a feat with my 8 month pregnant body going on almost a constant strike).

...Rested while Brielle napped and Liam laid on my bed watching more Micky Mouse fighting sleep as much as he could. 

...Watched my little boy get so excited about the fact he is a big boy and can take off his shirt and put another one on. He has never been interested in doing it before, even though he could, but today it was the most exciting thing to him that he could do it alone. He was so proud of himself and his happiness over something so simple was so darling. He got so excited that he quickly folded his arms and said a little prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for my daddy, for my mommy and for my Brielle. I love them.

I think we went through 5 or 6 shirt changes today and each time was a huge celebration for him.

...Went to my 32 week check-up to hear, once again, everything looks perfect. When the doctor said "wow you are getting close", it actually hit me that I am.

...Went to the grocery alone.

...Bought a spider-man shirt for Liam for really cheap. He was so excited about the fact he has a new spider-man shirt that he could put on himself. A little celebration present for his new found love of changing himself. He promptly put on his whole spider-man costume as well.

...Played with the kids outside while they played in the mud, without worrying about them ruining their clothes, shoes and our house when they came in. They had a complete blast and stayed out until it was too dark to see anymore.

...I worked on a big project I am in the middle of.
...Hugged my babies extra tight after reading a sad story on a blog that I found while working on said project.

...Tried to eat dinner as Brielle climbed all over me and tried to eat my food off my fork.

...Let Liam stay up despite how tired he was, to play with my siblings, since it is Friday night. He crashed as soon as he got into bed around 8:15.

...Went in to help Brielle after she had been babbling and playing in her bed 30 mins after I put her to bed.

She hugged me as tightly as she could, "kissing" my check and telling me "hi" in her sweetest voice for 10 straight minutes. Her long loving gazes into my eyes as she touched my cheek made my heart stop. 

...Hubby went to the store and bought me some of my favorite treats which I ate while I watched Downton Abbey and baby girl did her nightly "exercise routine" (what I call her crazy amount of moving and sticking appendages out super far every night around 9/10)

Showing me his muscles

 

Today was just today. Just a normal day.

 But such a wonderful day. 

One of those normal days I will long to go back to when my babies aren't babies anymore.