Lydia Elise: A Birth Story

9 days ago our sweet, beautiful, healthy girl joined our family.

Such a wonderful little spirit who we are all so in love with.

Her birth was exactly what I wanted and I feel so blessed.

Here is the whole story so I don't forget any details...

Just like my other babies, I started to have consistent braxton hicks contractions starting around 35 weeks. At my 36 week appointment I was about a fingertip dilated and only 20% effaced, which was disappointing because with Brielle at the same point I was 2 cm and 60% effaced. So I stayed on my feet as much as I could, went on walks, did squats and anything else I could to help me start progressing ahead of time. I would have inconsistent runs of contractions pretty often and at 36 1/2 weeks I had contractions about 5-7 minutes a part starting when we put the kids to bed at 7 pm, I noticed them during the night and they continued through the next day. They got closer together around 3pm and about 4pm, I called the doctor. They said it was too late for them to check me, but wanted me to go into the hospital to make sure I wasn't dilating too fast. I decided to wait longer (it's a 45 minute drive one way) and we went to the park to play as a family and feed the ducks. When we got home, I noticed they spaced out and then stopped. At my doctors appointment a couple days past 37 weeks, I was 2 cm and 50% effaced so we knew those contractions were doing something! At that appointment my doctor said she wanted to induce me a couple days early because 1. Liam was 9 1/2 pounds on his due date and 2. I progressed really fast with Brielle (I went from 5 cm to complete/crowing in 30 minutes) and she didn't want to risk anything since we live so far from the hospital. Like I said here, I didn't think either would happen again, but I wanted to not take any chances, just in case.

However, at this point I started to have some serious doubts about being induced. Even though I was induced with Brielle and it was a very positive experience, I still felt very unsettled. It was on my mind a lot and I wasn't sure what to do. I knew I shouldn't go over my due date, but I wanted so bad to go into labor by myself. I did a lot of research on ways to help my body go into labor itself, but I didn't want to do anything too extreme because I really wanted her to come when she was ready. Also at this point I started to feel very unsettled about getting an epidural. With both my kids it significantly slowed my labor down and in my labor with Brielle, the process of getting the epidural was very painful, and my back hurt for about a year afterwards. 

At each appointment from 38-39 weeks I was more dilated and effaced and they set up my induction date for the 27th, which was 2 days before my due date. That also happened to be my birthday and the only day the hospital had available for a scheduled induction. My doctor said all she planned to do was break my water without using pitocin and expected that to throw me into full-blown labor, because once my water broke with my other 2 kids, things went fast. 

The day before my scheduled induction, I was still having painful, yet inconsistent contractions as I had been experiencing the past week and I had my last appointment. My doctor said I was 3 cm, almost 4cm and she did as much of a membrane sweep as she could without breaking my water. She said Lydia was at a -1 station (basically the farthest she could be without me in active labor) and hoped that sweeping my membranes would jump start things. After my appointment I went to get my hair cut with my mom and then I went on a 20 minute walk with her afterwards while Richard played at the park with the kids. The walk definitely started some painful contractions, but once again, nothing consistent. I also had a bloody show and lost a lot more of my mucus plug. The rest of the day I spent finishing all the last minute things and spending time with Richard and the kids. We bathed the kids, put them to bed, put the carseat in the car, put our bags next to the door, laid out our clothes and went to bed early. We were supposed to be at the hospital at 7am for my induction, and we were all ready. 

Of course, Liam woke up twice that night, once to go to the bathroom and another time with a bad dream, and after the first time neither Richard or I could go back to sleep. My mind was running with all the things that would happen the next day, plus Lydia was rubbing her head into my cervix and moving around so much, I couldn't sleep because of pain. Then I started noticing contractions. And they were hurting pretty bad, but still very far apart so I didn't think anything of it, because that had been happening almost every night for about a week. Luckily they were so far apart that I was able to sleep during the breaks. Then all of a sudden I woke up and noticed that they were so bad I couldn't lay down through them, and only walking around and breathing made them tolerable. They weren't coming close together (I would guess they were about 7-10 minutes apart, although I never actually timed them), but after 2 of these contractions, I woke Richard up because the intensity of the contractions made me realize, "this is it". In between a contraction I said "Richard, wake up, I am having very painful contractions and this is it. We need to go to the hospital NOW" I looked at the clock and it was 5:00 am. I felt a huge sense of urgency and Richard could see that, so we got ready as fast as we could. I jumped in the shower to see if the warm water would slow them down. They started getting closer together (about 6 minutes I would guess) and the intensity stayed the same. While Richard got in the shower, I went downstairs to blow dry my hair (pausing to breath/concentrate through contractions) and then ran the kids monitor to my parents. My mom was so excited when I told her we were headed to the hospital! By this point, the contractions were getting more painful and we frantically put all our bags into the car, skipped breakfast and sped off at 5:30 am.
The contractions were hurting really bad, but during my break (I think they were about 5-7 minutes apart at this point and never got much closer together the whole time) I started to put my make-up on (we still laugh about this). About 10 minutes into the 45 minute drive, they started to get worse and so Richard called 911 to let them know he was speeding to the hospital and not to pull him over. They told him to call the hospital to warn them so they could get everything ready, and while he was on the phone I had some really bad contractions. He said "my wife is in labor and I am afraid she doesn't have much longer. Please have a room ready. O and she would like an epidural". Once we were about 5 minutes from the hospital the contractions were so bad that I was almost frantic during them, wanting to get out of my seat and walk around and the only thing that made me feel any better was screaming. That was a bad sign. I was desperate to get out of the car and during one of the really bad contractions I screamed "I WANT AN EPIDURAL NOW!" Well  we made it to the hospital in a record time of 30 minutes and I ran in while Richard grabbed our important bags. They had a nurse waiting for us when we got there and she asked if I wanted to stop in the .E.R. for them to deliver me or head up to the O.B. unit. I got into the wheel chair they had ready, yelled "GO!!!!" and pointed forward. They giggled at me and ran me up to the O.B. unit. I had hoped if we got up to the OB unit as soon as possible, I could get an epidural. However, the contractions were so bad and they could tell by how I was acting, it wasn't going to be much longer. 

We got there at a little after 6:00 am, they put us in room 335 and immediately got me on a table to check me during one of the contraction breaks. As she was checking me the nurse said "ummm, I can't find your cervix." I thought that meant I was digressing in my dilation so I threw my head back in defeat and moaned. Richard said "does that mean she is complete?" and as I said "no..." the nurse said "yep, that is exactly what that means. You are totally complete. Honey, you aren't getting an epidural tonight". We were shocked. I had been going through transition in the car...it all made sense now. I was still dressed, so I got into a gown as fast as I could during the break and they started breaking down the bed and getting things ready. I tried to breath through the contractions but it was getting almost impossible. They said they had called my doctor when we called, so she was about 15 minutes away. That was a long, painful wait. But I was so happy my favorite doctor and the one I wanted to deliver me was on call, even though she wasn't supposed to be on call that day. That certainly made the wait worth it.
Once the doctor got there at about 6:15 am, she checked me and confirmed I was totally complete and ready to push. She broke my water and after getting all dressed and ready, I started pushing. This is when I became frantic to be done because I was experiencing pain I had never experienced before. During one of the breaks I managed to say "please help me not tear too much". My awesome doctor said "don't worry dear, I will do everything I can to make sure you don't tear too much". The pain was so bad that I wasn't breathing enough and everyone had to remind me to breath so I wouldn't pass out. At about 6:20 am we were ready to really start pushing (the couple pushes before that was helping her get all the way down into the birth canal because she started at a -1 station) and all of a sudden this beautiful music started to play. We realized it was Richards phone going off for our alarm to wake us up to call the hospital to set up a time to come in and be induced. We all laughed at the irony while they set up the stirrups. 

Then a little after 6:20 am, I really started to push and her head started to crown. Everyone told me to reach down and touch her head, and when I did, I realized I was close to holding my baby. That helped keep me focused. The doctor coached me through the pushes telling me when to slow down, do small pushes, push hard etc. to help me not tear. At this point the pain was so overwhelming that the only thing I could do to handle the pain, was screaming at the top of my lungs. It was all I could do, and the only thing that helped the pain not be intolerable. I had to go deep into my mind to control myself despite the excruciating pain, and it was an experience I have never had to experience before, and one that is hard to explain. It was so intense, I started to panic and at one point the nurse had to stop me, because she was afraid I was going into shock. I got my breathing under control and everyone said "Mckenna, she is right there! Give us a good hard push and you will be done!" I pushed (and screamed) with everything I had and her head came out, one more push and the rest of her was born. The immediate relief as I saw her little body was more than I can explain. As they laid her on my chest, I was so overcome with happiness that she was here healthy, glad it was over, and so in love.

At 6:33 am, 1 1/2 hours after contractions started and 33 minutes after getting to the hospital, our beautiful Lydia Elise was born. 

I love that you can see Richard stroking my face. He was such an amazing support.

She cried for about 15 seconds, and then as soon as they put her on my chest and heard my voice, she instantly stopped and just looked around the room and stared at me for a long time. It was the sweetest thing. It was amazing to hold my little girl after dreaming for 9 months what she would look and be like. The doctor said I had a tiny little scrape, and I was so relieved. She said Lydia had a huge head, and was glad/impressed it wasn't any bigger. I held, admired and loved her (and regained my composure haha) for a long time. Then they took her to weigh, measure and examine her. When they put her on the scale, I was so interested to see what it would tell us. The doctor kept mentioning she was big, but I could tell she wasn't as big as Liam. I had thought 8 lbs 14 oz and Richard guessed 9 lbs 5 oz. Well they put her on the scale and she was 9 lbs 2 oz! I was pretty surprised! Another 9+ pound baby! No wonder it hurt so bad!!! And hearing that, I was so relieved that with such a big baby, I only got a "scrape". They measured her and she was 19 1/4 in long and perfect with all their tests. Everyone was very impressed because during all the pokes and prods, she just laid there totally content and never made a peep. She scored a 9 on her apgar test, and was announced a perfect, healthy, big baby girl.

 I was so proud and happy.

As my doctor was leaving we joked about how she was born 30 minutes before we were supposed to start my induction. This girl was determined to be born that day and share a birthday with her mama! Also, she mentioned that I need to make sure I live really close to a hospital from now on because that was too close! She said if my water had broken on it's own, we definitely wouldn't have made it to the hospital. Richard got a little run-down by several nurses on what to do if I don't make it to the hospital next time :)

The kids came later that evening and I was so curious to see how they would react, especially Brielle. They both walked in and when they saw her, they both got this super loving, tender look on their face and just watched her. Then they both got super excited and fell instantly in love. Even though Brielle is only 18 months, she was very soft, gentle and loving towards her. Liam held her for a long time, kissing, stroking and hugging her. He is head over heels in love with her and wants to have her next to him as much as possible. His new favorite thing to do is kiss her and just stare at her while stroking her head. No joke. Richard went home with them to put them to bed and as he left I warned him, he couldn't pull a Matthew Crawley, and had to come back in one piece. He minded me, and we enjoyed the night not sleeping cuddling our baby girl.

I have about 15 other darling pictures of him loving on her. So hard to choose from.

Holding brothers hand

The next afternoon we left the hospital because we missed our babies too much to wait longer, I hate sleeping at the hospital and I felt fine. As soon as we walked in the door Liam came running over and the first thing he said was "where is Lydia?!" The kids loved on her for the rest of the day and were so excited to have her home. They have been so sweet with her and Liam always wants her next to him. Whether he is eating or going to bed (we have had to have several talks with him about how she can't sleep in his bed with him). I am so glad they are both so soft and sweet with her!

3 days old

My recovery this time around has by far, been the best. I left the hospital with no pain meds and never needed them once I got back. By about 4 days postpartum I felt back to normal (of course except very tired from midnight feedings) and healed. My bleeding is pretty much gone and my stomach is almost back to normal (I get so stretched out that normally I still look about 3 months pregnant for the first week or so haha). I have lost more than half of the baby weight at 1 week postpartum as well. So really, it's gone so great. Nursing has been good, except she has a crazy strong suck so I am pretty...sore. And she eats a lot, so like my other kids, my supply is HUGE. That isn't so comfy...

In almost every way, her birth was exactly what I wanted.

I wanted to go into labor on my own: check

I wanted to labor as long as I could before going to the hospital: check (but no choice on that...)

I wanted to not need pitocin: check

I wanted to do it natural and not need the epidural: check (but again, no choice on that)

I wanted to go a little early and definitely before my due date: check

I wanted her to be big, but not too big: check

I wanted my favorite doctor to deliver me: check

I wanted to not tear: check (well my doctor didn't consider it a tear but in her words, a "scrape")

I wanted the least amount of interventions and pokes: check

I wanted to push for less than 15 minutes: check (it was about 10 mins)

I wanted a fast labor: check

I wanted to experience drug, needle and intervention free birth: check

I wanted a healthy baby girl: check

I had this conversation a lot with Richard about wanting the above things, but didn't think that would be possible. I am so grateful it worked out the way it did. It was the most intense and painful 1 1/2 of my entire life, but worth it. And the fact that I was doubting whether or not I should be induced and have an epidural  for a couple weeks before, was a big tender mercy, because I was hoping for that, rather than being disappointed it didn't work out that way. 

She is such a great baby! She never cries, unless she is starving and it is only a cry or two. When she is hungry she just grunts and roots around (which I swear she does all the time). She loves sleeping anywhere...her carseat, swing, bassinet, someones arms, you name it. She eats every 2 hours day or night, which is hard, but I am glad she is getting a lot of milk and my anti-bodies because Brielle has been sick for the past couple days :( So I don't refuse her when she is hungry (plus we love our babies fat! haha) or put her off. The transition to 3 has been much different than I expected. I will write more about that later. 

Truly, it was a wonderful experience and I am so glad she is in our life. 

She is only 9 days old, but I already feel like she has been in our family forever and I don't know what we did without her! 

Like I have said so many times before, we are addicted to having babies. 

In fact, a couple hours after she was born and I was cuddling her, I turned to Richard and said 

"Richard, how are we ever going to stop having babies?? I love this"

Can you blame us??

8 days old

"Name them 1 by 1"

I have so many posts running through my head, willing to be written. But yet everyday that I finally have time to write, I am too tired to stay awake, let alone construct a sentence that remotely makes sense. It must be the human I am making. But I just don't want some of the little things to pass for too long, or else they will be forgotten. That is the point of this blog: recording all the little things my kids do through their childhood so I never forget.

So bear with me, and because I am too tired to do much else, I am going to stick with lists. That's doable. (is that even a real word??) 

***

This morning I woke up with a smile. And my heart fluttered with gratitude.

Not 5 minutes into my day and already I felt overwhelmed.

But not with stress, with joy.

As my little man snuggled up to me in my bed after waking up and proceeded to kiss my face while I dozed,

the list started flowing.

My 2.9 beautiful kids

1 healthy, sweet, loving, intense little boy

1 healthy, funny, independent, sweet, girly little girl

The healthy, growing and active little girl bumping around my belly

The man to my left who is my world.

My best friend, the one I look up to more than anyone, the love of my life.

Our bright, exciting future

Wonderful, supportive family members

A sure knowledge of Christ and his gospel

All of the monetary blessings we have had in our lives

This wonderful time of calm

That I am almost done, and soon the empty bassinet by our bed will hold a cuddly newborn (SQUEAL!)

O and our bed is so comfy and soothes my achy pregnant body so well

My kids are starting to really interact, play and love each other. 

Our clean, organized room (which lasted all of 30 minutes that morning)

This time of year is so beautiful, all the green life appearing and birds singing

...

So I laid in bed,

still

for the first few minutes of the day 

and named "them 1 by 1".

As the list grew, and I realized, truly how blessed my life is

how truly the Lord's hand is in my life

and how I have so much to be grateful for

Not just the big, but the small as well

I couldn't help but smile and offer a prayer of gratitude.

Because no matter what,

Even if it might not seem that way,

and the things on our list are small or the list itself is small,

there is (truly) always something to be thankful for.

So with that in mind, take a minute

be still

and start counting.

Ultimate puddle jumping. I think this was the highlight of her 18 month life.
She was squealing with joy the entire time!

Liam kissing baby girl...he already loves her SO MUCH!

The calm.

This is the calm.
The calm after and before the storm.
After the storm of under-graduate work. always worried about what our future was. Never seeing Richard. Far away from our family. Living in a tiny apartment. storm #1
Before the storm of learning to manage 3 kids in 3 years (It's going to be "interesting" to be outnumbered...). storm #2
And hubby starting medical school soon while trying to learn storm #2 and truly never being home. storm #3

(sorry I talk about those "storms" so often...honestly pretty freaked out. Excited for the challenge, but freaked)

But this time, is the calm.

The calm I have waited so long for and the one that I am basking in right now.

It is truly wonderful. And I feel so blessed to have this time with my family before the storm (s) come.

Our situation has allowed for almost constant help from time with Richard and it is heaven. Absolute heaven and sometimes I have to pinch myself because it doesn't seem real. The kids are loving it and I am loving it even more. Maybe ;) It is particularly wonderful for this almost 9 month pregnant body. more on that later...

Playing in the water on our 1 1/2 mile hike as a family on Presidents day

We have been living it up.

Weekly dates,

(finally) caught up on all of our favorite TV shows

getting to know my family on a whole new, wonderful level

staying up way too late talking after the kids are asleep (my all-time favorite part of the day)

 sleeping in whenever we can

 exercising everyday (well I DID)

 going on family outings pretty much everyday

eating every meal together 

and playing in anyway we can.

This is the calm 

I am grateful for everyday

and the time that will keep my sanity during the storms.

The best 3 years

3 years ago, my life changed. 

In dramatic, wonderful, instantaneous ways.
3 years ago as I saw my precious boy for the first time when they placed him on my chest seconds after his birth, I was overcome with an eternal love that I cannot explain and something I could not have fathomed before he was born.
It was instant and all-consuming.
I didn't know him, but I loved him, more than I could imagine.

One of the most magic moments of my life.

See...I wasn't lying...look at his rolls! He had rolls EVERYWHERE.

So happy...all warm, full, feeling good with my baby sleeping next to me. 

The most proud, happy daddy in the world

Now 3 years later, I know him.

In only that short of a time, I know him so well. I know what his answers will be and how he will react in situations. I know the way he will feel and can accurately "guess" what he will say. 

I know him better than anyone else on this earth, and I love him more than anyone on this earth (of course, except his wonderful daddy). He is my best buddy, my little love who, with his 2 sisters and daddy, make my life complete.

He brings so much joy into my life and so much love, that I don't know what I did without him. For example, over and over again today he has cuddled with me, stroking my face and saying "I really love you mommy, with all of my heart" and "you are my best mommy in the whole world" and "I love you forever mommy". Really, I have been so blessed to be able to be his mommy. When I look into those big, excited, beautiful blue eyes, my heart melts and I can feel the amazing caliber of his spirit. Motherhood, really is the most amazing part of this earthly life. And being mommy to my littles, makes my life so full.

Love his goofy, in-the-middle-of-laughing smile!

 The past three years being Liams mama, have been wonderful. More than I can say.

He is my little best friend and I can't wait to watch him grow from his little boy self into a man.

 ... we are really celebrating tomorrow because my whole family was super busy today and then having his "friend" birthday on Tuesday so I will post pictures of present opening, cake eating and all the festivities after the two parties! Tomorrow is going to be packed full of all day Liam fun and I can't wait to see how excited he is :)

But even still, we celebrated with our little family by doing some of his favorite things. Day 1 of 3 celebrating this little man.

He loved it :)

(gosh, he is handsome)

Pity Little Princess

Anyone who knows me knows I am very girly. Just to give you an idea, my wedding colors were hot pink, black and silver. And I was barely 19 when I implemented those colors into my wedding, not 5... anyways, just like her mama, Brielle is such a girly girl! And I am so glad, because I speak "girly girl"! She loves running around with necklaces and skirts on, with a purse on her arm. My favorite thing she says right now is pretty, but of course it sounds like "pity" :) Anything pink, frilly, pretty or girly is declared "pity" in her cute, high-pitched voice! She also loves to dance and will dance to anything that remotely resembles music! We will definitely be starting her in dance classes asap :) 

I never knew how wonderful it would be to have a girl, and I am so excited to have another one coming in 2 1/2 months (or less...)! Of course, as I have said before, I love having boys and girls because they are both so wonderful in their different ways. And I am so thankful that I have been given the opportunity to raise both a boy and girl(s). But I sure love having a girl! Even with all her extra drama & spunk that comes with being a lady ;)

She is our pity, pity little princess!!

Just what I needed.

Parenting is wonderful. I love it so much more than I ever thought. But just like everything in life, there are certain aspects about it that can be just downright hard. Like figuring out how to discipline each individual child, how to teach them the hard, but necessary, life lessons etc. I have been having an interesting time with the last one with Liam lately, and there are moments I feel like a failure. But I know that the things I am teaching him are very important and necessary, and I pray constantly to know how to teach him the things I need to, in the way he needs. Anyways, point is it can at times be exhausting and discouraging, especially with an intense 2 year old (he's just like his mama). Luckily he is such a good boy, because I know it could be so much harder. I am so grateful he is a good, loving little boy. But he is intense in all he does, loving people, being very happy and in other areas ;)

But the other day I was sitting at the table helping Brielle eat dinner and Liam brought something to me. He was very adamant that I notice and read it, requesting that I keep it safe. I glanced at it to notice it was a letter my sister had written so I was curious why he brought it me. It was the sweetest, most heartfelt letter that Liam dictated and my sister wrote down for him. She said there was absolutely no leading on what to say from her, all she did was honor his request to write it down as he said it (ohhh...be still my heart). This is what it said: 

Dear mommy,
This is for you. I love you mommy. You are the best mommy in the whole world!
Love, Liam
The sweet, simple, reassuring words touched my heart so strongly and was JUST what I needed.

While aspects of parenting can be difficult, it is still very wonderful and beautiful. And I am so glad that my little kiddos are the wonderful, amazing, sweet little's that they are. But that little note "written" by my little man was the reassurance that I am in fact succeeding, even though it might not feel like it sometimes. 

And silly as it sounds, I keep that little note close by for those moments I don't feel like the "best mommy"...

Golly gee I love my little's more than I can comprehend.

2012, its been great.

4 hours and 2012 will officially be history. It leaves me stunned that this year has gone SO incredibly fast. But tonight I am celebrating all the wonderful things that have happened for us this year, and so excited for all the BIG things that will happen this year, like having baby #3 (I am still in shock we will have 3), moving to a new city we with call home for 2-4 years, hubby starting MEDICAL school and my little's growing up even more.

Here are all the things I am celebrating, in the typical (read: corny) Christmas/end of the year newsletter format: 

Dear family and friends,
Looking back at the past year, 2012 has proved to be one of the most momentous and exciting years we have had for our little family. It has been full of big life changes, wonderful blessings and memories.

In January, Richard took the MCAT (Medical College Admissions Test), even though he had not taken Organic Chemistry or Physics yet which comprise 2/3rds of the test, and he was only able to study for less than 2 weeks (most people study for 6-8 straight months). He was very blessed, did amazingly well and got a very high score. Richard also finished his bachelor’s degree in Psychology with minors in pre-medical classes and Marriage & Family Studies, in July. As soon as he finished we packed up our little family, leaving our home of the last 4 years, and moved back to WA. Both kids did amazing with our big move (they had never moved, so we weren’t sure how it would go), impressing us so much! Shortly after moving, all of his hard work paid off and Richard was one of the first students accepted to Pacific Northwest University of Health Science’s class of 2017, our top medical school choice, which also happened to be his first medical school interview! He will start school August 2013 and is so incredibly excited to begin the road towards his lifelong dream of being a doctor. For now, we are all enjoying the year-long break he has from school and have been so spoiled by having him around so much, with no homework!!

The week before our move from Idaho, we found out that we are expecting our third sweet baby (surprise, surprise)! I am due at the end of March 2013 and we recently learned we are having another darling, active, healthy little GIRL! She will be born a couple weeks after Liam’s third birthday, and while having 3 kids in 3 years will be challenging, we are so grateful for the timing of our sweet girl joining our family. It will be so nice to have another baby during the year-long break Richard has from school, with live-in babysitters until she is 4 months old (we are blessed to be able to live next to my family during this break)! Other than taking care of our 2 young kids as a stay-at-home mom and being pregnant, I have really enjoyed keeping up on our family blog (http://richennaclan.blogspot.com), photography, writing for the parenting website “The Power of Moms”, spending time with my family & friends, exercising everyday (except Sunday), and cooking (yes, it’s a huge hobby).

Liam turned 2 in February and is such an amazingly sweet little boy! He is so gracious and polite it is mind-blowing and also extremely loving, randomly telling us how much he loves us multiple times a day while giving us hugs. He is such a good talker, so mature, smart and big for his age that people mistake him for a 4 year old almost constantly. When he was 2 ½ we started the potty training process and he was trained in 2 days (he is convinced that he owns a “potty train” somewhere). He loves friends, nursery, dreaming of going to school/growing up, animals, wrestling with Daddy, drawing, reading books, eating, playing with anything he can make a toy, playing in the dirt, collecting bugs/reptiles and cuddling. Liam is totally in love with “his” Brielle and very excited for his new baby sister to be born!

Brielle turned 1 in August and is our darling little blonde-haired, blue-eyed firecracker! She is the sweetest, funniest, flirtest, most friendly, outgoing little bundle of beauty! She is such a girly girl and is always running around covered in jewelry, skirts, bows and drama! She brings so much joy into our lives, it is overwhelming! She loves being around people, playing with friends, animals, dancing, babbling (which is quickly turning into words and sentences of her own “words”), copying people, singing, playing dress-up, to be tickled, playing with Dad, squealing, any kind of music and being held/cuddled by mommy. But her most favorite thing to do is wrapping everyone around her finger with her cuteness and pretending to be a puppy.

Richard and I celebrated our 7 year anniversary (time flies!!), and had a BLAST! We went away for a 2 ½ day trip just the two of us, which were the best days of 2012! It was so much fun celebrating the best 7 years of our lives married to our best friend. It has been such an amazing blessing to have our love, adoration and friendship exponentially increase every year. This year we have also continued to go on a weekly date, enjoying the time as star-crossed lovers.

2012 has proved to be yet another amazing year, and we are so incredibly grateful for the blessings that have come to us this year. We are so grateful for our Savior and the wonderful family, friends and memories we have enjoyed this year! May you feel the love of your Savior at this Christmas season and throughout the upcoming year!

Love Richard, McKenna, Liam, Brielle and baby girl

So there is the summary of 2012 and the awesome, monumentous year it was. I am so glad it was such a great year leaving so many big memories. But I am so excited for all the big things 2013 will bring!

P.S. I have been thinking of my motto for this year, more on that later...

The ferry ride epitome

Last week, we went to Seattle on a improptu family trip/a business errand for Richard. We rode the ferry over to Seattle, ran the errand Richard needed to do, went to a mall with a playground to let the kids play around, had some food, and took the ferry back home. Doesn't sound like much, but by the end, the kids were dirty (Liam had chocolate milk which was all down the front of him). Dirty, but O so happy. 

We pulled up in line in our dirty mini-van (dirt roads + rain), car full of stuff we brought for the trip, trash from the kids food, 2 happy but worn out parents, and 2 happy but dirty children. To the side of us pulled a brand-new mustang, perfectly clean, with a beautiful lady driving it. Perfectly manicured. Perfect hair. A business suit. Sitting in the car on her smartphone. Alone.

For a second, I looked down at my pregnant body, and up at my tired face and messy hair. And felt a little insecure. Liam was so excited to get out of the car and watch the water, so we scooped our giddy children out of the car and went to show them around the ferry. Instantly, when I saw their dirty, smiling faces who were so excited to see us, all my insecurities were forgotten. We had fun running around the boat, playing hide-and-seek and laughing. At the end of the ride, we came back down to our car, opened it to reveal its messiness, played with the kids a little more and buckled them up to leave. We had to wait in our car to disembark the ferry for a bit, and I kept thinking about the girl to our left.

But my thoughts changed.

I looked in the rear-view mirror to see 2 wonderful, darling children. My gorgeous children. I looked to my left and saw the smiling face of the love of my life and best friend.

And it hit me.

I was the lucky one. I was the one whose heart is full and brimming over with love for my family. I have another one coming. My car is full of stuff because we had a family adventure. My kids were dirty because they were playing so hard. My hair was messy because Liam loves to play with my hair while he gives me hugs. I was tired because the night before I talked too long with my lover before bed.

My life is so full. So wonderful.

As we pulled off the ferry, I did so with a smile.

And a prayer of gratitude in my heart that I am where I am, and with the people I am.

And I felt so lucky to have a dirty mini-van full of my kids and dear husband.

I saw the emptiness that could have been, and felt my heart swell with gratitude that my life is so full. Of love, blessings, memories, finger prints, fishy crackers, diapers and smiling faces.

The date we never had

May 3rd

 7 years ago yesterday

Richard and I had our first date.

Finally after a year of wishing and hoping he would ask me on a date, it finally happened.

Realizing that he was everything I thought he was and more

Plus the best friend I had always been looking for

is a moment in my life I will never forget.

On the way home from our date that night,

 Richard mentioned that he wanted to go on another date with me.

So outrageously excited, I stammered back that my Dad's birthday was the next day (May 4th) and I would be busy doing family stuff. So we planned a date for that weekend. 

But from the 5th (we actually hung out before our planned date for the 6th...we couldn't stay apart even then) until we got married 6 months later, 

we spent every day together either hanging out or on dates.

So May 4th was the only day that we didn't go on a date or spend time together.

Today, May 4th

7 years later

on our way to Winco, Richard mentioned that he had a special surprise.

He had a date all planned with a babysitter ready to watch our kids as soon as we got home (!!!!!!)

He wanted to take me on the date we never had.

HOW ROMANTIC IS THAT?!?!?!

I haven't stopped swooning over my boy all night.

hey no judging. I am growing out my hair so it's all natural. Yes horrible roots I know...

We were both laughing really hard at an inside joke which is why we are smiling weird
He's my best friend.

7 years later and I still have it bad for this boy.

But can you blame me?