My 2 cents as mamasita

Parenting.
I know, I am a novice.
I only have 2 kids, 2 little kids, so I don't really know what I am talking about.

But in my defense, before I had kids I finished my bachelors degree in Psychology and Marriage & Family Studies, took dozens of classes on parenting and read an equal amount of articles/books on parenting. 

I know, books don't equate experience.
But they sure help!

Anyways, with that disclaimer, I have been thinking lately about my main job: parenting

Somedays I feel like a failure, somedays I actually think it's going pretty good. 

I don't always know what I am doing, but who does?

You might think you always know what you are doing, but children are ever changing, their personalities fluid and so usually what seems to happen is the one thing that worked for awhile all of a sudden doesn't because of their ever changing, growing self. But thats life right? Once you get one thing figured out, it changes. But that is how we grow. 

Hopefully you as a parent realize this, and adapt to their fluid personalities. 

Cause that is also important.

 Anyways, in my 3 short years of parenting babies & toddlers I have learned some things that seem to  consistently work. I thought I would share them, just for kicks.

 I need something other than evicting having this baby to think about...so entertain me...

1. I have debated on punishments. I know that they are important, because they teach our children boundaries and what is and isn't ok. But I think something else can work better (in certain situations), if done right. Praise. I remember reading somewhere (I am in no mind to find it, so you will just have to trust me) that praising your children when they do the desired thing works much better than punishing them when they don't do the desired thing. It can be tedious and require creativity. You might have to stretch really hard to think of how you can see positive things they are doing. It also requires a lot of time and attention from you as the parent to watch for the little things that are right. But, I know from experience that works so well. Obviously, you still need to punish/give consequences. But praising for appropriate behavior not only teaches them what they should do, but builds up their own self-esteem and self-respect. 

2. The next thing goes a long with this. The way you see/treat them, is the way they will see/treat themselves. It is called the "self fulfilling prophecy". If you treat them like a bad kid, they will think they are a bad kid and act like a bad kid. If you treat them like a good kid, they will think they are a good kid and act like a good kid. As simple as that. So if you are praising them for doing the right thing and telling them how proud you are of them for making the right decision and telling them what a good kid they are (make sure to say specifically why you think this aka: find a specific action/reason), they will think they are a good kid. Kids mirror the way they feel about themselves after the way adults think/act towards them. Be careful.

3. Children need choices. If they feel like they don't have choices, or control over their lives, they will fight anything. Try not to tell them to do something, but give them 2 choices on how to accomplish it. That way they don't feel forced, but they feel like they choose to do it. Some could see this as manipulative, but it's better than not teaching them to make decisions for themselves!

4. When it is appropriate, children need consequences/punishments. There are just some things that are not ok. But the key with this, is consistency. Children only learn through consistency. They test boundaries to find out where they are, and so if you are consistent in consequences they will quickly learn where the boundaries are, feel secure in the boundary and (most likely) leave it a lone. So I would say that the most important thing with this, is consistency. If you told them not to do something, you must follow through with the punishment. Children need this.

5. Try not to have too many rules. This could potentially take from them an opportunity for them to learn something themselves. You want them to learn how to manage themselves. Plus if all they hear from you is "no don't do that" or "stop that" or "please dont do..." etc. they will tune you out. I try to remember that if it isn't putting themselves or others in harm, or could create a serious problem/mess, or a potential bad habit, let them learn. This doesn't mean to put them at risk or not teach them something that needs to be taught. I am not advocating neglectful parenting. Just make sure you aren't always squishing them with "no", "dont" and "stop it". Children learn by doing things and seeing the consequence, so if it isn't dangerous or problematic, let them learn. 

Anyways, just a couple of thoughts.

Don't sacrifice me on the "you-dont-know-what-you-are-talking-about" alter.

I am not saying I know it all,

just a couple of things I have learned in my time as mamasita.

Yes, he came with shoes. He kicked them off minutes before.

I think we are going to buy this adorable little playhouse for the kids for the new house.

They played in it for a good hour at Costco today and only stopped when we pulled them away (literally) because we had to leave.

So cute.

Ok now I am breaking out the ice cream, getting into bed, watching something quick, going to sleep early (gotta love 6:45 kidlet bedtimes) and not moving until I have to...

"Name them 1 by 1"

I have so many posts running through my head, willing to be written. But yet everyday that I finally have time to write, I am too tired to stay awake, let alone construct a sentence that remotely makes sense. It must be the human I am making. But I just don't want some of the little things to pass for too long, or else they will be forgotten. That is the point of this blog: recording all the little things my kids do through their childhood so I never forget.

So bear with me, and because I am too tired to do much else, I am going to stick with lists. That's doable. (is that even a real word??) 

***

This morning I woke up with a smile. And my heart fluttered with gratitude.

Not 5 minutes into my day and already I felt overwhelmed.

But not with stress, with joy.

As my little man snuggled up to me in my bed after waking up and proceeded to kiss my face while I dozed,

the list started flowing.

My 2.9 beautiful kids

1 healthy, sweet, loving, intense little boy

1 healthy, funny, independent, sweet, girly little girl

The healthy, growing and active little girl bumping around my belly

The man to my left who is my world.

My best friend, the one I look up to more than anyone, the love of my life.

Our bright, exciting future

Wonderful, supportive family members

A sure knowledge of Christ and his gospel

All of the monetary blessings we have had in our lives

This wonderful time of calm

That I am almost done, and soon the empty bassinet by our bed will hold a cuddly newborn (SQUEAL!)

O and our bed is so comfy and soothes my achy pregnant body so well

My kids are starting to really interact, play and love each other. 

Our clean, organized room (which lasted all of 30 minutes that morning)

This time of year is so beautiful, all the green life appearing and birds singing

...

So I laid in bed,

still

for the first few minutes of the day 

and named "them 1 by 1".

As the list grew, and I realized, truly how blessed my life is

how truly the Lord's hand is in my life

and how I have so much to be grateful for

Not just the big, but the small as well

I couldn't help but smile and offer a prayer of gratitude.

Because no matter what,

Even if it might not seem that way,

and the things on our list are small or the list itself is small,

there is (truly) always something to be thankful for.

So with that in mind, take a minute

be still

and start counting.

Ultimate puddle jumping. I think this was the highlight of her 18 month life.
She was squealing with joy the entire time!

Liam kissing baby girl...he already loves her SO MUCH!

Mother nature, I can relate.

Today is March 1st.

and the process of spring "springing" has begun.

We spent most of the day outside and it was a perfect, beautiful spring day full of adventure and exploring.

I followed after the kids while they walked around, caught frogs, explored the woods around the house, swung on the swing in the barn, played at the park, fed the ducks and soaked up the sun (that was actually shinning!! ::gasp::)

But as we were outside, exploring the world together

I couldn't help but relate with mother nature.

Liam and his precious frogs just after he caught them

I spy some pink legs...and a huge pregnant shadow...

You could see that everything was about to burst forth with life, the green was just about to push out from the ground, the trees had buds that will soon become leaves and the baby birds were singing.

As I looked around, I realized that mother earth was about to "pop", 

and so am I.

The "bowling ball" shot

He carried them around for a long time and was surprisingly
 gentle for a 3-year-old boy!

showing sister his findings

Spring is coming, so close, all the preparations are being made.

There might be a couple more colder days 

But it's almost here.

Baby girl is coming, so close, all the preparations are being made

(today I finished washing all the newborn clothes!!)

There might be a couple more hard days where my body hurts, I have acid reflux, being feeling ginormous and false labor

But she is almost here.

The similarities I felt between spring just around the corner and my current state was a little uncanny

and ironic.

(those pants make me look WAY more fat than I am...just FYI)

Spring is coming and the process has begun, 19 days early.
With 28 days left until my own special date,
My body is also slowly beginning the process of my own "progression" (if you know what I mean).
It's pretty cool being on the same "cycle" as mother nature.

Anyways, I love living in an area where spring exists and you can watch the slow process from winter to summer.

It is so beautiful and exciting to watch the world wake up after winter.

(If spring has come -19 days early, and the weather stays like it was today, that would be flippin' awesome.)

The calm.

This is the calm.
The calm after and before the storm.
After the storm of under-graduate work. always worried about what our future was. Never seeing Richard. Far away from our family. Living in a tiny apartment. storm #1
Before the storm of learning to manage 3 kids in 3 years (It's going to be "interesting" to be outnumbered...). storm #2
And hubby starting medical school soon while trying to learn storm #2 and truly never being home. storm #3

(sorry I talk about those "storms" so often...honestly pretty freaked out. Excited for the challenge, but freaked)

But this time, is the calm.

The calm I have waited so long for and the one that I am basking in right now.

It is truly wonderful. And I feel so blessed to have this time with my family before the storm (s) come.

Our situation has allowed for almost constant help from time with Richard and it is heaven. Absolute heaven and sometimes I have to pinch myself because it doesn't seem real. The kids are loving it and I am loving it even more. Maybe ;) It is particularly wonderful for this almost 9 month pregnant body. more on that later...

Playing in the water on our 1 1/2 mile hike as a family on Presidents day

We have been living it up.

Weekly dates,

(finally) caught up on all of our favorite TV shows

getting to know my family on a whole new, wonderful level

staying up way too late talking after the kids are asleep (my all-time favorite part of the day)

 sleeping in whenever we can

 exercising everyday (well I DID)

 going on family outings pretty much everyday

eating every meal together 

and playing in anyway we can.

This is the calm 

I am grateful for everyday

and the time that will keep my sanity during the storms.

I will love you forever. But...

Will you love me forever?

Will you love me forever, like I will love you forever?

Unconditionally and overwhelmingly?

I know you won't need me like you do now.

You won't need me to be there as soon as you wake up

and right before you go to bed.

I know you won't need me to dress you, bathe you and cook your food.

You will soon be able to meet people without having to have me right next to you, holding your hand.

You won't need me to kiss your owie's better, cuddle with you when you are sick or tired.

You won't want to tell me every single thing, all your stories and every small thing that you are excited about.

I know you won't always whisper " I really love you mom, with all my heart" throughout the day.

There might even be a time that I am not your best friend.

You won't cry at my legs when you are scared or hungry.

And at bedtime, you won't try to think of any reason to keep me there because you don't want me to leave.

You won't run to me wanting me to cuddle you when anything bad, scary or hurtful thing happens.

Exploring the world and experiencing everything together won't be your first priority.

I know you won't always play with my hair when you are tired.

I know that being around me won't always be magical and healing.

There will be a time that seeing me after I have been gone for a little while, won't be the absolute highlight of your day.

You won't always cry for me in the middle of the night if you are cold, scared or after a bad dream.

And you won't hug and kiss me out of nowhere.

I know that I won't always be the center of your universe.

I know, that one day, all of this will end.

You will become independent, and my role will change, shift and morph into something entirely different.

I know that is inevitable, and while it will break my heart for these things to cease, I know that is right. 

But, please, please, pretty please,

love me forever.

Because dear babies, I will love you forever and always.

The best 3 years

3 years ago, my life changed. 

In dramatic, wonderful, instantaneous ways.
3 years ago as I saw my precious boy for the first time when they placed him on my chest seconds after his birth, I was overcome with an eternal love that I cannot explain and something I could not have fathomed before he was born.
It was instant and all-consuming.
I didn't know him, but I loved him, more than I could imagine.

One of the most magic moments of my life.

See...I wasn't lying...look at his rolls! He had rolls EVERYWHERE.

So happy...all warm, full, feeling good with my baby sleeping next to me. 

The most proud, happy daddy in the world

Now 3 years later, I know him.

In only that short of a time, I know him so well. I know what his answers will be and how he will react in situations. I know the way he will feel and can accurately "guess" what he will say. 

I know him better than anyone else on this earth, and I love him more than anyone on this earth (of course, except his wonderful daddy). He is my best buddy, my little love who, with his 2 sisters and daddy, make my life complete.

He brings so much joy into my life and so much love, that I don't know what I did without him. For example, over and over again today he has cuddled with me, stroking my face and saying "I really love you mommy, with all of my heart" and "you are my best mommy in the whole world" and "I love you forever mommy". Really, I have been so blessed to be able to be his mommy. When I look into those big, excited, beautiful blue eyes, my heart melts and I can feel the amazing caliber of his spirit. Motherhood, really is the most amazing part of this earthly life. And being mommy to my littles, makes my life so full.

Love his goofy, in-the-middle-of-laughing smile!

 The past three years being Liams mama, have been wonderful. More than I can say.

He is my little best friend and I can't wait to watch him grow from his little boy self into a man.

 ... we are really celebrating tomorrow because my whole family was super busy today and then having his "friend" birthday on Tuesday so I will post pictures of present opening, cake eating and all the festivities after the two parties! Tomorrow is going to be packed full of all day Liam fun and I can't wait to see how excited he is :)

But even still, we celebrated with our little family by doing some of his favorite things. Day 1 of 3 celebrating this little man.

He loved it :)

(gosh, he is handsome)

Just today.

I should be in bed. I know it's crazy to be up this late when the kids are sleeping, especially considering the fact I am so tired and this huge pregnant body is hurting. But I didn't want to let todays little victories be forgotten. 

Today was a normal day. Nothing special. 

...Was woken up by a big hug and cuddle session with Liam.

...Richard let me go back to sleep and sleep in, like he does most mornings. (yes, I am a very spoiled girl)

...Exercised, while being interrupted by the kids (what felt like) every 10 minutes. 

...Bathed them with minimal battles. Dressed and Liam actually let me brush his hair.

...Got ready for the day (even straightened my hair AND did my make-up).

...Deep cleaned our entire room (thats a feat with my 8 month pregnant body going on almost a constant strike).

...Rested while Brielle napped and Liam laid on my bed watching more Micky Mouse fighting sleep as much as he could. 

...Watched my little boy get so excited about the fact he is a big boy and can take off his shirt and put another one on. He has never been interested in doing it before, even though he could, but today it was the most exciting thing to him that he could do it alone. He was so proud of himself and his happiness over something so simple was so darling. He got so excited that he quickly folded his arms and said a little prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for my daddy, for my mommy and for my Brielle. I love them.

I think we went through 5 or 6 shirt changes today and each time was a huge celebration for him.

...Went to my 32 week check-up to hear, once again, everything looks perfect. When the doctor said "wow you are getting close", it actually hit me that I am.

...Went to the grocery alone.

...Bought a spider-man shirt for Liam for really cheap. He was so excited about the fact he has a new spider-man shirt that he could put on himself. A little celebration present for his new found love of changing himself. He promptly put on his whole spider-man costume as well.

...Played with the kids outside while they played in the mud, without worrying about them ruining their clothes, shoes and our house when they came in. They had a complete blast and stayed out until it was too dark to see anymore.

...I worked on a big project I am in the middle of.
...Hugged my babies extra tight after reading a sad story on a blog that I found while working on said project.

...Tried to eat dinner as Brielle climbed all over me and tried to eat my food off my fork.

...Let Liam stay up despite how tired he was, to play with my siblings, since it is Friday night. He crashed as soon as he got into bed around 8:15.

...Went in to help Brielle after she had been babbling and playing in her bed 30 mins after I put her to bed.

She hugged me as tightly as she could, "kissing" my check and telling me "hi" in her sweetest voice for 10 straight minutes. Her long loving gazes into my eyes as she touched my cheek made my heart stop. 

...Hubby went to the store and bought me some of my favorite treats which I ate while I watched Downton Abbey and baby girl did her nightly "exercise routine" (what I call her crazy amount of moving and sticking appendages out super far every night around 9/10)

Showing me his muscles

 

Today was just today. Just a normal day.

 But such a wonderful day. 

One of those normal days I will long to go back to when my babies aren't babies anymore.

Just what I needed.

Parenting is wonderful. I love it so much more than I ever thought. But just like everything in life, there are certain aspects about it that can be just downright hard. Like figuring out how to discipline each individual child, how to teach them the hard, but necessary, life lessons etc. I have been having an interesting time with the last one with Liam lately, and there are moments I feel like a failure. But I know that the things I am teaching him are very important and necessary, and I pray constantly to know how to teach him the things I need to, in the way he needs. Anyways, point is it can at times be exhausting and discouraging, especially with an intense 2 year old (he's just like his mama). Luckily he is such a good boy, because I know it could be so much harder. I am so grateful he is a good, loving little boy. But he is intense in all he does, loving people, being very happy and in other areas ;)

But the other day I was sitting at the table helping Brielle eat dinner and Liam brought something to me. He was very adamant that I notice and read it, requesting that I keep it safe. I glanced at it to notice it was a letter my sister had written so I was curious why he brought it me. It was the sweetest, most heartfelt letter that Liam dictated and my sister wrote down for him. She said there was absolutely no leading on what to say from her, all she did was honor his request to write it down as he said it (ohhh...be still my heart). This is what it said: 

Dear mommy,
This is for you. I love you mommy. You are the best mommy in the whole world!
Love, Liam
The sweet, simple, reassuring words touched my heart so strongly and was JUST what I needed.

While aspects of parenting can be difficult, it is still very wonderful and beautiful. And I am so glad that my little kiddos are the wonderful, amazing, sweet little's that they are. But that little note "written" by my little man was the reassurance that I am in fact succeeding, even though it might not feel like it sometimes. 

And silly as it sounds, I keep that little note close by for those moments I don't feel like the "best mommy"...

Golly gee I love my little's more than I can comprehend.

Resolutions, you have been replaced.

With the beginning of the year, I couldn't help but think of my resolutions. What do I want to accomplish this year? What do I want to do differently? Who do I want to be this year? I instantly knew some things I wanted to do better with in general, but when I thought of this year specifically, I became overwhelmed. Every time I think about this upcoming year that tends to happen. Anxious. Unknown. Scared. Excited.

Why you ask?
Come March I will have 3 kids 3 years and younger.
Unknown.
Come June we with be moving to a whole new city.
Scary.
Come August I will be a medical school induced single mom.
Anxious.
A lot of changes, wonderful changes, but things I cannot truly prepare for, because I have no idea what to expect.

That became my dilemma: how do I make resolutions when I have never experienced the things that are coming and don't know what to expect? Especailly when most of them are INFAMOUSLY difficult. I am a big-time planner and my conundrum really stressed me out.

The other day, I was on the elliptical exercising and decided to read elder Marcus B. Nash's talk in the October 2012 conference called "By Faith All Things Are Fulfilled". I read one line that stood out to me and stopped me in my place: "with God’s help, nothing is impossible." And it's beautiful simplicity hit me. By relying on Heavenly Father and doing those things that allow me to be lead by him, ALL things are possible. Including surviving a medical school going hubby with 3 very young kids. 

So that became my motto for 2013: With God's help, NOTHING is impossible.

And with that as my motto, resolutions followed. Like: read my Scriptures for at least 15 mins a day, pray fervently everyday, be more patient, be a wife that my husband enjoys being around, exercise everyday, keep a journal etc.

So while, honestly, the thought of what will happen this year is simultaneously exciting AND terrifying, I feel prepared. I feel armed. I know that by relying on Heavenly Fathers help, I will survive and even flourish. 

So 2013, bring it on. I am prepared.

The ferry ride epitome

Last week, we went to Seattle on a improptu family trip/a business errand for Richard. We rode the ferry over to Seattle, ran the errand Richard needed to do, went to a mall with a playground to let the kids play around, had some food, and took the ferry back home. Doesn't sound like much, but by the end, the kids were dirty (Liam had chocolate milk which was all down the front of him). Dirty, but O so happy. 

We pulled up in line in our dirty mini-van (dirt roads + rain), car full of stuff we brought for the trip, trash from the kids food, 2 happy but worn out parents, and 2 happy but dirty children. To the side of us pulled a brand-new mustang, perfectly clean, with a beautiful lady driving it. Perfectly manicured. Perfect hair. A business suit. Sitting in the car on her smartphone. Alone.

For a second, I looked down at my pregnant body, and up at my tired face and messy hair. And felt a little insecure. Liam was so excited to get out of the car and watch the water, so we scooped our giddy children out of the car and went to show them around the ferry. Instantly, when I saw their dirty, smiling faces who were so excited to see us, all my insecurities were forgotten. We had fun running around the boat, playing hide-and-seek and laughing. At the end of the ride, we came back down to our car, opened it to reveal its messiness, played with the kids a little more and buckled them up to leave. We had to wait in our car to disembark the ferry for a bit, and I kept thinking about the girl to our left.

But my thoughts changed.

I looked in the rear-view mirror to see 2 wonderful, darling children. My gorgeous children. I looked to my left and saw the smiling face of the love of my life and best friend.

And it hit me.

I was the lucky one. I was the one whose heart is full and brimming over with love for my family. I have another one coming. My car is full of stuff because we had a family adventure. My kids were dirty because they were playing so hard. My hair was messy because Liam loves to play with my hair while he gives me hugs. I was tired because the night before I talked too long with my lover before bed.

My life is so full. So wonderful.

As we pulled off the ferry, I did so with a smile.

And a prayer of gratitude in my heart that I am where I am, and with the people I am.

And I felt so lucky to have a dirty mini-van full of my kids and dear husband.

I saw the emptiness that could have been, and felt my heart swell with gratitude that my life is so full. Of love, blessings, memories, finger prints, fishy crackers, diapers and smiling faces.

Just because

Tonight I finally have some time.

Ever since moving so close to my family and with my in-laws in town as well; Richard shadowing doctors and volunteering at the hospital constantly to make sure he gets into his first choice of medical school; getting things ready for my brothers wedding tomorrow; helping the kids (mostly Liam) get used to his new life and home and so many other big things...my blogging has taken a 7th seat to life. 

I have so many things I want to write about.

--All about our new life here in WA

--Celebrating Liams 1/2 birthday

--Celebrating Brielle's 1st birthday

--Berry picking at my favorite place in the world

--Liams hilarious new sleeping habit

and so many more.

So many pictures I want to post. So many stories I want to write. But life is so busy right now partying with family, Richard working so hard, constantly taking care of the kids and before I know it the day is gone. I want to continue to document my childrens childhood and the ordinary yet beautiful moments, so once things mellow out I will get better at writing. Cause gosh dang it, I have missed my blogging time. 

But for now, I wanted to post a quote I saw tonight. Just because. Just because it's genius, the secret to life and  (confession time:) something I have a hard time with. 

perfection.

Pure and simple.

So here is to living in the present and even better:

  enjoying everything about it.

More confession time:

I have a hard time not living in the future. 

Thinking "things will be better when..."

I hardly have a problem living in or mourning about the past, because it has made me who I am today and brought me what I have. 

Which one do you do?

...ok time for night night. 

"I dead him"

As I am sure I have said many-a-time before, Liam loves loves loves to be outside.

He would be out there constantly if he had his way.

The other day we were outside and he was playing with ants.

Not thinking anything of it I didn't pay much attention. Off in my own world. Then he came to me with a squished ant on his finger. 

And following that little act came a quick conversation that warped a view I have on a natural life phenomenon which has always...daunted me.

L: Look mom, I dead him

M: O Liam, why did you squish the ant?

L: Because ant missed his mommy and daddy

Watching brother poke ants

I will be honest. At first I was a tad bit disturbed. And then it dawned on me. For Liam's first birthday, we bought him two (cheap Walmart) fish who, not surprisingly, brought much joy and happiness to the little man for about a week. I woke up one morning and found them inevitably floating at the top of their bowl. Soon after I disposed of the fish (gosh that is a nasty job) but before I had a chance of thinking of a way to explain to Liam what happened to his fish, he saw his bowl was empty and the fish gone. He right away asked where they had gone and I had to come up with the reason they were gone, on the spot. My response to my 2-year-old who wouldn't understand the complexities of death: "They just went home to their mommy and daddy." And with that, he understood and no tears were shed. In his 2-year-old mind, he understood missing his Mommy and Daddy and that returning to them was a good thing.

So fast forward back to the other day about 6 months after that fish incident. Since his birthday we have talked to him about death when other pets or animals died and he has a very infantile understanding of it. So when he saw the ants and squished them, in his little boy mind he was doing a very compassionate deed by returning them to their mommy and daddy, because they missed them.

 I just have to say I have the most compassionate, loving and kind little two year old boy. 

Anyways, I diverge. 

 I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Liam doesn't understand all the complexities that are associated with death, but he has such a grasp on the subject that is in ways more profound than most adults. Isn't death (how I believe it) just returning to your Mommy and Daddy (albeit the spiritual ones) who we miss so much? Honestly and personally, death does terrify me. Not dying, but having those I love and need in my life die. But as I looked at the normal phenomenon we cannot escape, in this infantile and more simple way, I realized that it is not a horrible thing, but a merciful thing; returning us back to our loving heavenly parents that we miss. 

So thinking of death that way, whether it's thinking about (totally hypothetically of course, we are totally healthy and fine haha) about me or a loved one passing on to the next world, it helps to shed a new light on the inevitable. Not a dark, scary, lonely one, but a merciful, happy and lovingly-reuniting view. 

Sometimes looking at lives complexities through the eyes of a child can make it so much more simple, beautiful and right.

What is it?

What is about kids that they always seem to wake up as soon as you start falling asleep on those nights when you are particularly tired? (luckily though it doesn't happen all the time)
What is it about freshly bathed kids that makes them want to roll and play in the dirt?
What is it about ducks, that makes toddlers want to chase them down?
What is it about hearing your toddler say "I am so happy to see you" to your baby while stroking her cheek first thing in the morning that makes you want to melt into a puddle of happiness?
What is it about your baby girls chunky thighs in shorts that makes you get butterflies from too much cuteness?
What is it about a little "mommy I love you" whispered in your ear that makes waking up at 2am totally worth it?
What is it about family and the wonderful comfortableness that I feel around them every second I am with them?
What is it about sunscreen, that no matter what I do, it always seems to get in Brielle's eyes? (though I am happy to report as the summer goes on, I am getting much better at not getting it in her eyes)
What is it about summer that makes sleeping for kids impossible? And yet simultaneously more possible then any other season?
What is it about the combination of watermelon, playing in water in the hot sun and why is it perfection?
What is it about watching your toddler grow up into an obedient, polite little man (for the most part. He still is a 2 year old sometimes) that makes you so proud?
What is it about clean cute clothes having to get dirty as soon as they are put on kids?
What is it about kisses from mommy on an owie that is so magical for a toddler?
What is it about weekends flying by with way too much speed?
What is it about binkys and their need to disappear when you need them most?
What is it about Richard that makes him not only the love of my life, but my very best friend ever and greatest hero?
What is it about toilet paper and children's intense desire to unravel the whole roll?
What is it about toothpaste that makes toddlers obsessed with "sucking it out" (Liams way of asking if he can eat it right out of the tube)?
What is it about parenthood that makes you gladly want to sacrifice everything you are and have for your precious babies?
What is it about the bark at parks that makes it hide in the most random places (like diapers)?
What is it about poopy diapers and their need to blow-out everywhere at the most inconvenient time?
What is it about little babies and toddlers in swimming suits that makes me want to squeal from extreme cuteness?
What is it about drinking water out of the hose that makes it taste even better?
What is it about the weekends that makes you want to self inflict torture by staying up too late?
What is it about toddlers and their need to walk up a slide the wrong way after sliding down?
What is it about baby heads with their fluffy hair and baby smell that make me dizzy with cuteness overload?
What is it about hugs from my toddler that make everything in life fine and perfect?
What is it about my husband that thinking about him or seeing him 7 years later still gives me butterflies and a racing heart?
What is it about making up a new recipe that is so exciting?
What is it about cords and the need for babies to suck on them?
What is it about watching your kids love each other that makes your heart so happy and proud?
What is it about cords and necklaces getting totally intertwined and impossible to get a part when no one touched them or moved them in years?
What is it about apocalypse movies that make me so incredibly scared and enthralled at the same time?
What is it about Oreo's being so good you can't eat just one?
What is it about nostalgia that makes you physically ache deep in your heart when you think back on wonderful memories?
What is it about Brielle's super high pitch noise and "airplane" noise (we recorded it and I will post it later) that makes me laugh every time I hear it?
What is it about time recently flying by so fast, I can hardly wrap my head around it?
What is it about eating cotton candy that instantly makes you feel like a little kid again?
What is it about watching your child have fun and smile that makes you completely and utterly satisfied in life?
What is it about my life that makes me so happy, it keeps me up at night?
...whatever it is, I love it. All of it.

Eating cotton candy at the water park

p.s. yes I know the answer to some of those questions :)