I am scured.

Yes, I am scured.
It's how we say scared in my family. Somehow, sometime it got started by a toddler saying the word wrong, and it hasn't stopped.
Anyways, I am scured.

Because soon everything is going to change, and I don't know what to expect. I am not scured for labor and delivery. I actually love that part (or I guess more specifically the part at the end when you see your sweet babe for the first time). I am scured by what comes after. 

The part where I have 3 littles and we are outnumbered. 

The part where I am a sleep deprived ghost

The part where I don't have enough time to spend with each child like I want

The part where I don't go out in public very often (it's still flu season here with a whooping cough outbreak. Not risking anything)

The part where I live in my yoga pants

The part where our living space stays a disaster

Mostly the part I don't know about.

I don't know what it will be like to have 3 kids and your oldest just turned 3 last month. 

It's the unknown that has me shaking in my boots the most.

All of the aboves are so worth it to bring new life into the world. I love being a mom and wife more than anything else in the world. But no one can lie and tell me that the first couple weeks when a baby comes is not quite...interesting. Because I know it would be a lie if someone said that to me. Having your kids close together, you remember what that is like. Because it happened recently. 

I feel like already my 2 littles take up so much time and effort there isn't much left over. So thinking of adding another sweet spirit to that, makes me scured. Of course, when I think about it rationally, I realize it won't be as hard as it is now because I will (for the most part) have my body back and every step won't hurt and I will be able to keep up with them like I used to. That makes me feel better about everything. Like I said before, I love pregnancy. But by the end, the thought of not having excruciating pain makes me giddy. 

I have 10 days left until the big day. Or less. (I had my 38 1/2 week appointment today and I am dilated to 2 almost 3 cm and 70% effaced. She is so low that as the doctor was checking me, she bumped her head and baby girl jumped so hard)

In 10 days, it will all be a reality. 

My bags are packed, her bed is all ready, her clothes are all washed and ready, her new carseat/stroller came today, I have all my post-delivery needs bought (witch hazel is my beeeeest friend), everything is clean and organized, my nails are painted, maternity pictures already taken...we are ready. 

Brielle riding the belly like a pro 

Hopefully she is ready to come soon, because even though I am scured, 

I am so excited to fall in love again.

Liam and I love to sit and feel her dance around

p.s. O and if anyone has ANY advice about having 3 kids close together, I am willing and ready for any kind of advice! Bring it on ladies :)