Early this morning, I had a horrible horrible dream.
The first dream that was so bad, I actually had to wake myself up because it was just too much to handle.
I haven't been able to shake the horrible feeling off all day, but it has made me so grateful that it wasn't real life. So I thought writing it down would help me shake that horrible feeling.
In my dream, we had 3 kids: Liam, Brielle and a newborn baby girl (no, I am not pregnant. Unless somehow there was a hole in our birth control, there is no chance. sorry TMI...). I was sitting in sacrament meeting (a meeting in the LDS church) with Richard, and Liam was sitting next to us with some of my siblings. I knew that Brielle and our newborn baby girl were being watched by someone we knew and loved (luckily I can't remember now who it was...), but I decided to check on them just to make sure they were ok. I went to the person to find out that they had lost them. They had no idea where they were. The most terrifying thoughts came rushing through my head as I was running through the church building trying to find them. I was freaking out trying to find my dear, sweet girls, enlisting everyone I could to find them. Finally, my husband brought the bishop to me to tell me that they had searched everywhere in the building and around the building, and they were gone. That I needed to give up looking for them, because they were never going to be found. I collapsed to the ground in agony, screaming, crying and hyperventilating. And that was when I used all of my mental strength to wake myself up, because I couldn't handle the emotional pain anymore. It was so real and so traumatizing that I couldn't go back to sleep.
All day I have hugged my babies longer, given them more kisses, been more patient, forgiving and loving. Because I am so glad that that dream wasn't my reality. That my babies were safely sleeping in warm, comfy beds rather than lost. And more than that, I am glad that even if my worst nightmare was actually reality, I know we have been sealed together for eternity and this life isn't the end.
sorry for 2 similar pictures...I couldn't decide which one I liked better :)
My precious babies.
They are everything to me.
And I am so glad that I know, they will never truly be lost because we are a
Other than having a bad dream, today has been a good productive day! I have gotten A LOT done on my to-do list today and I am starting to climb out of the hole I talked about here. Not only am I caught up, but I am ahead on my plan for what I wanted to get done this week. It feels nice to be able to report that :)