Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

So the date is set.

As I sat on the doctors table at 39 weeks, doctor said she didn't want me going past my due date because of Liams size (9 1/2 pounds on his due date) AND because I went so fast with Brielle (I went from 5cm to totally complete/crowning in 30 minutes and the hospital is a good 45 minutes away). Not that I expect either to happen again, but you just never know. Better to be prepared. Anyways, she left to call the hospital to pick a date for the week before my due date. "Wow, THE date" was all I could think of. In the hallway I heard her voice:

"O gosh. The only day they have available is Wednesday. I feel bad doing that to her"

At first I thought ummmm, what are you going to do to me?!?! And then I glanced at the calender on the wall. Wednesday the 27th. 2 days early. O that is my birthday. ::giggle:: that is ironic. As she explained the only day I could could come in that week for a scheduled induction was that day, all I could do was smile. The plan is for me to come in in the morning, the doc will break my water and we will sit back and watch. Considering the fact that with my babies once my water breaks labor goes fast, she thinks that is all it will take. 

Anyways, it's pretty odd to have the date set.

Especially considering what the date is.

So as is my personality, planning instantly started and things started rolling. 

We decided to celebrate Easter today and my birthday yesterday. 

And both were fantastic.

My birthday consisted of my favorite breakfast (crepes covered in whipped cream, nutella and fresh strawberries with a side of bacon), a long nap, playing with the family at the park (it was a GORGEOUS day), shopping for my presents, eating Chinese food for dinner, pie for dessert (not a fan of cake) and watching a movie (all the while having painful contractions of course). Easter was equally fun with a wonderful day at church, epic Easter egg hunt, a big ham dinner and chocolate.

In their easter best ready for church

and the easter egg hunt begun

Liam totally got it filling his bucket with pretty much all the eggs.
Brielle found (maybe) 3 and just sat down to open them all

all the loot...and a boot.

My birthday flowers

Final preparations can now be made.

(less than) 3 days left.

And it's at this point that Jack Johnson's lyrics start running through my head

"Now I was sitting, waiting, wishing"

But in my cause it will be "Now I was walking, cleaning, wishing"

At least the waiting and wishing for her to be in my arms, 

has an expiration date.

My 2 cents as mamasita

Parenting.
I know, I am a novice.
I only have 2 kids, 2 little kids, so I don't really know what I am talking about.

But in my defense, before I had kids I finished my bachelors degree in Psychology and Marriage & Family Studies, took dozens of classes on parenting and read an equal amount of articles/books on parenting. 

I know, books don't equate experience.
But they sure help!

Anyways, with that disclaimer, I have been thinking lately about my main job: parenting

Somedays I feel like a failure, somedays I actually think it's going pretty good. 

I don't always know what I am doing, but who does?

You might think you always know what you are doing, but children are ever changing, their personalities fluid and so usually what seems to happen is the one thing that worked for awhile all of a sudden doesn't because of their ever changing, growing self. But thats life right? Once you get one thing figured out, it changes. But that is how we grow. 

Hopefully you as a parent realize this, and adapt to their fluid personalities. 

Cause that is also important.

 Anyways, in my 3 short years of parenting babies & toddlers I have learned some things that seem to  consistently work. I thought I would share them, just for kicks.

 I need something other than evicting having this baby to think about...so entertain me...

1. I have debated on punishments. I know that they are important, because they teach our children boundaries and what is and isn't ok. But I think something else can work better (in certain situations), if done right. Praise. I remember reading somewhere (I am in no mind to find it, so you will just have to trust me) that praising your children when they do the desired thing works much better than punishing them when they don't do the desired thing. It can be tedious and require creativity. You might have to stretch really hard to think of how you can see positive things they are doing. It also requires a lot of time and attention from you as the parent to watch for the little things that are right. But, I know from experience that works so well. Obviously, you still need to punish/give consequences. But praising for appropriate behavior not only teaches them what they should do, but builds up their own self-esteem and self-respect. 

2. The next thing goes a long with this. The way you see/treat them, is the way they will see/treat themselves. It is called the "self fulfilling prophecy". If you treat them like a bad kid, they will think they are a bad kid and act like a bad kid. If you treat them like a good kid, they will think they are a good kid and act like a good kid. As simple as that. So if you are praising them for doing the right thing and telling them how proud you are of them for making the right decision and telling them what a good kid they are (make sure to say specifically why you think this aka: find a specific action/reason), they will think they are a good kid. Kids mirror the way they feel about themselves after the way adults think/act towards them. Be careful.

3. Children need choices. If they feel like they don't have choices, or control over their lives, they will fight anything. Try not to tell them to do something, but give them 2 choices on how to accomplish it. That way they don't feel forced, but they feel like they choose to do it. Some could see this as manipulative, but it's better than not teaching them to make decisions for themselves!

4. When it is appropriate, children need consequences/punishments. There are just some things that are not ok. But the key with this, is consistency. Children only learn through consistency. They test boundaries to find out where they are, and so if you are consistent in consequences they will quickly learn where the boundaries are, feel secure in the boundary and (most likely) leave it a lone. So I would say that the most important thing with this, is consistency. If you told them not to do something, you must follow through with the punishment. Children need this.

5. Try not to have too many rules. This could potentially take from them an opportunity for them to learn something themselves. You want them to learn how to manage themselves. Plus if all they hear from you is "no don't do that" or "stop that" or "please dont do..." etc. they will tune you out. I try to remember that if it isn't putting themselves or others in harm, or could create a serious problem/mess, or a potential bad habit, let them learn. This doesn't mean to put them at risk or not teach them something that needs to be taught. I am not advocating neglectful parenting. Just make sure you aren't always squishing them with "no", "dont" and "stop it". Children learn by doing things and seeing the consequence, so if it isn't dangerous or problematic, let them learn. 

Anyways, just a couple of thoughts.

Don't sacrifice me on the "you-dont-know-what-you-are-talking-about" alter.

I am not saying I know it all,

just a couple of things I have learned in my time as mamasita.

Yes, he came with shoes. He kicked them off minutes before.

I think we are going to buy this adorable little playhouse for the kids for the new house.

They played in it for a good hour at Costco today and only stopped when we pulled them away (literally) because we had to leave.

So cute.

Ok now I am breaking out the ice cream, getting into bed, watching something quick, going to sleep early (gotta love 6:45 kidlet bedtimes) and not moving until I have to...

I am scured.

Yes, I am scured.
It's how we say scared in my family. Somehow, sometime it got started by a toddler saying the word wrong, and it hasn't stopped.
Anyways, I am scured.

Because soon everything is going to change, and I don't know what to expect. I am not scured for labor and delivery. I actually love that part (or I guess more specifically the part at the end when you see your sweet babe for the first time). I am scured by what comes after. 

The part where I have 3 littles and we are outnumbered. 

The part where I am a sleep deprived ghost

The part where I don't have enough time to spend with each child like I want

The part where I don't go out in public very often (it's still flu season here with a whooping cough outbreak. Not risking anything)

The part where I live in my yoga pants

The part where our living space stays a disaster

Mostly the part I don't know about.

I don't know what it will be like to have 3 kids and your oldest just turned 3 last month. 

It's the unknown that has me shaking in my boots the most.

All of the aboves are so worth it to bring new life into the world. I love being a mom and wife more than anything else in the world. But no one can lie and tell me that the first couple weeks when a baby comes is not quite...interesting. Because I know it would be a lie if someone said that to me. Having your kids close together, you remember what that is like. Because it happened recently. 

I feel like already my 2 littles take up so much time and effort there isn't much left over. So thinking of adding another sweet spirit to that, makes me scured. Of course, when I think about it rationally, I realize it won't be as hard as it is now because I will (for the most part) have my body back and every step won't hurt and I will be able to keep up with them like I used to. That makes me feel better about everything. Like I said before, I love pregnancy. But by the end, the thought of not having excruciating pain makes me giddy. 

I have 10 days left until the big day. Or less. (I had my 38 1/2 week appointment today and I am dilated to 2 almost 3 cm and 70% effaced. She is so low that as the doctor was checking me, she bumped her head and baby girl jumped so hard)

In 10 days, it will all be a reality. 

My bags are packed, her bed is all ready, her clothes are all washed and ready, her new carseat/stroller came today, I have all my post-delivery needs bought (witch hazel is my beeeeest friend), everything is clean and organized, my nails are painted, maternity pictures already taken...we are ready. 

Brielle riding the belly like a pro 

Hopefully she is ready to come soon, because even though I am scured, 

I am so excited to fall in love again.

Liam and I love to sit and feel her dance around

p.s. O and if anyone has ANY advice about having 3 kids close together, I am willing and ready for any kind of advice! Bring it on ladies :)

For the love of a hat

Starting around December of 2012, Brielle all of a sudden developed a new passion.

Hats.

She would run up to us and ask us to put anything from a dish towel to a shirt to a conventional hat on her head and if it fell off, she would scream until we put it back. And that has never ended. Her obsession with hats is pretty unreal, hilarious and the most darling thing ever. Wearing a hat, running around the house and "talking"  and usually in dress up clothes, is the most common way to find our little princess. If we are out at the store, she loves to wear a hat and even more so, loves to watch herself in the mirror wearing said hat. 

This one has a funny story.

Richard put her on his shoulders and she instantly took his hat off, and put it on her, like so.

She made everyone around her laugh hysterically. Including us.

And brother joining in on the fun

...see I wasn't kidding.

It is so fun to watch the personalities of your children develop and see how they are so unique, with their own little quirks. Her little personality has boomed in the last couple months, and she definitely has such a strong, fiery, hilarious, independent little spirit. I hope this obsession lasts for a long time, because it is so fun to see her little body running around the house with her pink cowboy hat or princess hat on. She is such a girl! And golly gee, I love that girl. 

"Name them 1 by 1"

I have so many posts running through my head, willing to be written. But yet everyday that I finally have time to write, I am too tired to stay awake, let alone construct a sentence that remotely makes sense. It must be the human I am making. But I just don't want some of the little things to pass for too long, or else they will be forgotten. That is the point of this blog: recording all the little things my kids do through their childhood so I never forget.

So bear with me, and because I am too tired to do much else, I am going to stick with lists. That's doable. (is that even a real word??) 

***

This morning I woke up with a smile. And my heart fluttered with gratitude.

Not 5 minutes into my day and already I felt overwhelmed.

But not with stress, with joy.

As my little man snuggled up to me in my bed after waking up and proceeded to kiss my face while I dozed,

the list started flowing.

My 2.9 beautiful kids

1 healthy, sweet, loving, intense little boy

1 healthy, funny, independent, sweet, girly little girl

The healthy, growing and active little girl bumping around my belly

The man to my left who is my world.

My best friend, the one I look up to more than anyone, the love of my life.

Our bright, exciting future

Wonderful, supportive family members

A sure knowledge of Christ and his gospel

All of the monetary blessings we have had in our lives

This wonderful time of calm

That I am almost done, and soon the empty bassinet by our bed will hold a cuddly newborn (SQUEAL!)

O and our bed is so comfy and soothes my achy pregnant body so well

My kids are starting to really interact, play and love each other. 

Our clean, organized room (which lasted all of 30 minutes that morning)

This time of year is so beautiful, all the green life appearing and birds singing

...

So I laid in bed,

still

for the first few minutes of the day 

and named "them 1 by 1".

As the list grew, and I realized, truly how blessed my life is

how truly the Lord's hand is in my life

and how I have so much to be grateful for

Not just the big, but the small as well

I couldn't help but smile and offer a prayer of gratitude.

Because no matter what,

Even if it might not seem that way,

and the things on our list are small or the list itself is small,

there is (truly) always something to be thankful for.

So with that in mind, take a minute

be still

and start counting.

Ultimate puddle jumping. I think this was the highlight of her 18 month life.
She was squealing with joy the entire time!

Liam kissing baby girl...he already loves her SO MUCH!

The story of OUR house.

After being married (almost) 7 1/2 years, living in little apartments that consist of 650 square feet and soon-to-be 3 kids, we will have our own home. Our own starter home. I am still in denial, or shock really.

I feel like for the past 7 1/2 years we have been playing house.
Then the babies came, and it felt more real, but still, just playing.
We left our tiny 650 square foot apartment, the place we had spent the majority of our marriage together and our future was planned.
But now that we are building our first home together, to fill with our own appliances, furniture and keepsakes along with our 3 kids while my hubby becomes a doctor,
I feel like I have legitimately grown-up.

And for those interested, here are some FAQs answered, 

because I am sure there will be many Q's asked by a certain few :)

Why aren't you renting?!

The city where Richard's medical school is located, has some very dangerous non-family-friendly areas. Everyone, including real estate agents, told us to stay away from most of the areas except 2. One of them is a 30 minute drive (one way) from the school and the other area is the one the school is in. It is safe (it has an A+ rating on safety) , very family friendly, protected from the "bad" of the "scary" area by a big highway, and super close to the school. Since time with the family will be very limited because of how busy he will be, we opted to live in the area next to the school so we can spend an extra 1-2 hours a day with Richard (figuring in commuting time and the fact he can come home for lunch). This area doesn't have many rentals and the ones they do have are more than the allotment the school gives you for housing (because they only give enough for a single room apartment since the majority of the students are single men), requiring us to take out more student loans (NO THANKS!!) or not have enough for other expenses. It can be done, and we were going to, but it is definitely not ideal. Considering the only options were very small, with stairs (they are very hard with multiple small children and for that reason I REALLY don't like them) and no backyard and the fact I will have 3 VERY young kids, my time while he will be in medical school would have been awful really really hard. 

Long story short, we found out a couple months ago that my in-laws had sold their house and had a big chunk of money that they wanted to invest in housing for us (they are acting like "bank" and we are going to make monthly payments to them as if they were the "bank"). So we started looking at houses and because the area we need to live in is so nice, there were zero options in that price range. So we decided to look at all the options, including building. We found a perfect lot about a 2 minute drive from the campus for a decent price (and down the street from the brand-new elementary school and church building). And then we found out about a building company that could do everything we needed for the price we could do it in. The whole time we have been very cautious and did a lot of research to make sure it was the right decision. After all our research, we realized it very much is! 

What about the fact you are leaving in 4 years?

With the medical school growing by 30 seats a year and with their plans to open a P.A. school in a few years, we know that there would be a HUGE influx of students and a huge shortage of housing (and this school seeks after students who are LDS with families). So the possibility of renting or selling it when we are ready to leave, is very good. And the price of rentals with it's specs are VERY high, so worse case scenario and we can't sell it, we would make a lot by renting it. And like I said, there is a big market for that with the school growing so much. Plus, worst worst case scenario, and we can't sell it OR rent it out, we could stay there for 3-4 more years after medical school and Richard could very possibly do his residency there (and staying in our brand-new home we built in a very nice area wouldn't be a problem...hehe).
BUT even with all that considered, Business Insider predicts that Yakima will be one of the top markets to grow in the next 4 years (it should grow almost 8%) and it was named one of 15 of the best in the nation for housing markets because of that! And the neat thing, is we will be ready to sell in about 2017 when it is predicted to be at it's peak! HUGE BLESSING. 

How is it a good idea with property taxes, utilities, insurance etc?

Part of our research we did before making the final decision was to find out exactly how much that would be. The school gives you a utility and insurance allowance which is a little bit higher than what we will need to spend. And when we figured in the property taxes plus all the utilities etc. in the monthly payment, it is still much cheaper than renting.

What is the status?
The building permits have been approved, we have paid for the lot and closed on it, we paid the first deposit to the builder/contractor, temporary power pole is up and they are staking out the house on the property tomorrow so they can start excavating this next week!!

Will it be done by the time school starts?
The reason we choose the company that we did is because they are under contract to be completely finished with the project in 4 1/2 months. School doesn't start for another 5 months so we know it will definitely be finished in time. Their contract says 4 1/2 months, but they have been finishing houses in 85-90 days consistently and the main contractor is one of Richards relative and very old family friends, so we know we are in great hands. He knows our deadline and says he will definitely make it, with a good buffer.

What are the specs of the house?

almost 1500 square feet

3 bedrooms

2 full bathrooms

2 car garage

Walk-in closet in master bedroom (YAY!)

Kitchen bar

Covered front porch

Soaker tub and normal shower in master bathroom

Oil rubbed bronze fixtures (all lights and door handles)

Recessed lighting in the kitchen and covered porch 

Thick craftsman style trim throughout the house

Rounded corners on all walls and windows

Cheyenne doors throughout the house

Staggered cabinets in the kitchen

ETC

...perfect starter home!!!

(and I can't wait to put pictures of all the things we picked for the inside!!!)

So it is happening. 

I still can't believe it! The way this has come together is absolutely amazing. I really feel like things have been "guided" and really full of so many blessings. I know it sounds weird, but I have felt that way several times in this process. Like for example: as soon as we realized buying a house in that area was too expensive, I started looking at property and found the one we bought. We looked at other options and did our research trying to keep an open mind, but the whole time I felt a real sense of urgency. I quietly felt a little frantic. But I wasn't sure why because they hadn't had any offers on it since it hit the market almost a year before. Well we sped things through, put an offer on which they accepted and paid our earnest money. Almost as soon as we did that, the Realtor said they had multiple people put offers on it as back-ups and a lot of people very interested in it. She said that we did it at the perfect time. Now I see why I felt the urgency! If we would have waited much longer, we probably wouldn't have gotten it because they went $6,000 under their asking price and I am sure someone would have offered a full price offer! PHEW. 

Richard and I have had so much fun through this process! We are always talking about how we want to decorate the house, how we want to put a huge garden in the side yard and set-up our backyard asap (the yard is going to be HUGE!!! I am so excited). Richard is so excited to make some of the furniture we need  (like this kitchen table) and I am filling my Pinterest boards with ideas for our house. We had so much fun picking out all the things for the house (like carpets, cabinets, doors, flooring, windows, trim, fixtures etc) and we agreed on all of it!! We kept laughing the whole time because we would choose the same exact thing every time! We really are 1 mind and soul mates. We have had so much fun daydreaming constantly, making plans and getting randomly giddy when we think about it!

And lastly, we are SO INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL to my in-laws who have chosen to invest in this project so that our lives in medical school will be much easier! I feel so grateful to be a part of such a wonderful, supportive and selfless family!

Can't wait for our house to be finished so we can begin to fill it with fun memories!

91% complete

So as is the territory with pregnancy (especially as you start your 9th month of pregnancy), I am asked at every turn: "how are you feeling??" just a note, I really don't mind being asked! So don't think I am complaining about that :)

Well let me tell you. I am feeling like I have a baby trying to break out of her cage which is my BODY. O wait, that is exactly what is happening! I love pregnancy, don't get me wrong. I always have loved it. Which is why I have done it 3 times in the past 3 years. BUT. It is in these final weeks that I am ready for this part of raising a baby to be finished. Why??
(and this is the moment we allow an exasperated 9 month pregnant woman a few seconds to complain. I still love it and appreciate it. But I have earned my right to have a small pity party!)

My entire body hurts in ways I can't relay to anyone (acid reflux, hips breaking apart, back hurts from all the stress of carrying my huge belly, legs hurt from a huge varicose vein and other "wonderful" things I won't go into detail about)

My energy is non-existent

Her kicks hurt really bad sometimes 

I have random (and sometimes not random) contractions that actually kind of hurt this time

I can't cuddle my babies on my lap because I don't have one anymore

I can't get full but at the same time, I always feel full

I can't keep up with my kids like I want to because I am afraid 1.a baby will fall out of me 2. my body will split in two 

I don't sleep well in between having to pee all the time, random contractions, acid reflux, her running her feet a long my ribs etc.
I hardly have anything left to wear because even the huge maternity shirts don't completely cover my huge bowling ball/torpedo/watermelon belly
My patience is smaller because I am in constant, excruciating pain
The only position that doesn't cause grit-your-teeth pain is laying on my side, but sometimes that doesn't cut it, but it's not like I can stay in that position for more than 2 minutes with my 2 active kids.
...

35 weeks with Liam (left) and baby #3 (right)

Making a human is truly wonderful. I love it. But it is definitively a lot of work, especially in these last few weeks. We sure do sacrifice a lot to bring our kids into the world, that is for sure. 

I had my 36 weeks appointment and all looked great. My blood pressure was low, weight gain was just as it is with my other 2 pregnancies, her heartbeat sounds perfect, I am measuring good (a week ahead actually), she is low (but not engaged yet), head down (yay!) and I am starting to slowly show signs of progression with my cervix (I won't go into too much detail for the weak stomached haha). 

36 weeks with Brielle (left) and baby #3 (right)

This weekend I finished washing the newborn clothes and 0-3 month clothes as well (cause my kids come out too big for newborn clothes...). The newborn clothes (just in case she is smaller) are put away and in our closet, clean and cute. 

To do list:
Finish washing the blankets and assorted baby needs
Put her (cute little) bed together

Pack the hospital bag
Get assorted baby needs
Fix my roots and get some more blonde highlights in
Get a manicure/pedicure
Get "big sibling" gifts for the kids for when they come to the hospital to visit
Put the car-seat in the car

I had 2 dreams recently I had a baby.

In one my labor went really fast and I had her in a classroom and she was born as big and alert as a 6 month old (yikes). In another, my water broke and I spent a whole day running errands before I realized I should head to the hospital. But after both, I woke up so anxious for the experience of another labor and delivery experience. Call me crazy, but I also love love love that part of pregnancy/raising kids. I am not sadistic. 

But the first moment I see my baby for the first time is the most wonderful, all-consuming favorite moment of my life and I am so excited to experience that again. 

I cannot wait. 

Ok, time to limp to my bed so hubby can give me a massage...ouch...